hey guys and gals, i'm a university student living with anxiety disorder... I wanted my heartburn problem fixed and after 10 years of treatment and zantac i was told it may be anxiety ( i have had 2 anxiety attacks during exams).
I started taking effexor, and the heartburn left. As relieved as I was to see the heartburn go, i started feeling my emotions- sadness, and lots of it. I had to fight hard to let it out without the gagging taking over , the vomiting taking the place of crying (men dont cry after all, so i thought, right???). Now i am able to cry and let my sadness out, though it is really painful. It's a sadness of fear of loneliness, this loneliness i've always felt that pushes me to graze and wander in the kitchen endlessly. But I am not lonely, i live with my bro and my sister-in-law. Yet i'd do anything for a kiss and hug before bed and in the morning like i used to with my mom and dad up until i moved out at the age of 19.
Needless to mention i dont have a girlfriend, and strong anxiety kicks in when i feel any sign of rejection, so i usually dont have enough time to build a strong relationship before giving up or, on the contrary, i'll get really attached to close girl friends and feel like i'm in love with her, making everything awkward and thus feeling rejected, giving up once again.
I trust in God, in Jesus the son, still consider myself to be a "young soldier" in the Salvation Army as a certificate i signed at the age of seven declares. I know he can help me, somehow, and am sure He does in his ways. He does bless me gratly i find, with the school the jobs and the family and friends I have.Yet, I still consider human relationships as the biggest relief i've felt through my hard times finding it difficult to entrust God with my life and future for I have plans of my own and am working hard to reach my goals.