Kama
Perfectionism is an attitude and you can have more than one attitude. You probably think of perfectionists as people who have to have every thing just so in it's place. This is a combination of two attitudes, the need for everything to be in it's place. A good Idea. And the need for it to be in the exact spot, overdoing the Idea. In it's extreme case it becomes OCD.
But you can combine the attitude perfection with the core belief that you are not good enough and the two lead you to another attitude. The attitude that since you need to be perfect but past experience has shown you seldom if ever can be then it is not worth doing because it will never be right. In extreme cases the core belief will lie to you and your work is more than adequate and often perfect but you still think there is room for improvement. Combine this with another belief that the world is imperfect and there is room for improvement around you and throw in agoraphobia and you have a combination that leads you to do nothing while still having the need to do something about it because of the perfectionism.
So lets say hypothetically that this combination has built a core belief that is stopping you from doing what you need to do because in this case you are not in a want to phase or you would go ahead and do it. Assuming also that agoraphobia is a fear of not having control over surrounding situations you then have to change the attitudes and core beliefs.
When I asked who you were competing with I was looking for the root of a core belief and hoping you would spot it. Core beliefs are usually built on a situation out of the past that gives you a rule to follow in the present and when planning the future. Some are very damaging. Such as being told over and over that some one is better than you, or that you don't try hard enough. You don't try as hard as X, X is better than you. Why can't you be as good as X or Y or Z. These seemingly innocent comments when a child is growing or when an adult is vulnerable (in love) or impressionable build core beliefs. False turns into true in your mind only. This then is a negative core belief. But true can stay true and this is a positive core belief, but still a core belief. Maybe it is true that you are not as good as X. So what. But the core belief won't let you say so what. It is still important to be better than you are in your mind even if you have reached the point of good enough or even perfect. The core belief is going to tell you there is room for improvement. Well maybe there is, but for now good enough is good enough. Better to do something not perfect than to wait till you can do something perfect. There is no perfect. Our ideas change with input to our memory so perfect changes too.
So now we need a reason to not hate yourself and to do that you have to get rid of the perfectionism and replace it with pride. Another attitude this thing called pride. Pride in a job well done. Never perfect, get rid of that word. There will be times in the future when you say "this is perfect" but you want to see that through prides eyes. Change the perfectionism attitude to an attitude of pride and all the pieces will fall into place.
This is CBT, changing thought patterns. Simple in principle but hard in practice because you still have the core belief to overcome.
So yes you have a perfectionist attitude but it is the other invisible attitudes and core beliefs that dictate what you do with it.
Davit.
love the avatar.
