Since mood plays such a big part I think where we go wrong is that when some trauma or bad news sends us into the land of negative memories we think our condition is back. Yet if we look around we would see that others without the condition are just as sad and just as anxious, they just don't have that little diploma on the wall that says I can make this worse than it is. I have the skills and the memories to really mess myself up. I'm trying real hard when I have a bad day to say I'm just having a bad day, everything else is fine. And I'm finding by accepting it that they don't stay bad as long.
Tomorrow right after breakfast I have to go to the hospital and sit for an hour while they trickle 2 grams of antibiotic into my vein. I'll take my computer and play solitaire. No anxiety, just going to do it and when I come home maybe I can get on the tractor. as for meals, I have lots in the freezer that just need to be heated. It will do me good to get out of the house.
Makes sense. If we concentrate on the positive and keep it in the forefront of your minds eye then it becomes easier to disregard the negative thought and the negative loses its power and fades away. Of course mood and attitude does effect the overall picture if you let it. So if we continue to look for the positive it will become our main focus because the mind does like the pleasant positive feelings much more than the negative ones..We have a choice what we feed it, Honey or vinegar..
I'm going to describe this to you like quilting. Lets say you have a line down the centre of a quilt with blocks on one side you like and blocks on the other side you don't like EG negative thoughts and positive thoughts. You have a choice if you look at the quilt with an eye to the nice blocks you can enjoy it even though you can still see the bad blocks. They will not get recognition if you are in the right mood and have the right attitude. You will see what would be a lovely quilt if you replace the bad blocks. But you will still see what could be instead of what is if in your mind your mood and attitude lets you. So visualizing what the whole would be by concentrating on what the good side looks like and overlaying the bad side you get a pleasant picture without actually having to change the bad side just by knowing you intend to change it. Changing each bad block is like discarding bad memories. In the mind though because you can not cut out bad memories you have to cover them up like sewing good blocks on top of the bad ones. They are still there but you won't know unless you look and that is the problem. This looking is that just below the surface annoyance. Stop looking and enjoy the overall picture. And this transfers to every situation in life because it is a technique you can use often as you have too. Try it, over lap two quilts and looking at both see only one then looking at both see what they would look like if they were the same pattern. You can do it with a bit of concentration. You can do this with your mind to. Unfortunately with the wrong attitude and mood, You can see only the bad side too.
This is why mood has such an effect on those just below the surface thoughts.
I spent yesterday in lot of pain with my back and hip. It could be a side effect from the new medication I just started taking again on Monday. Most of the day was spent reorganizing my sewing room and I went out later in the day to get a ruler that I misplaced. We did get some bad news right before leaving but I was able to do what I needed to do and distracted myself from the negative thoughts by looking at some quilting books while I was at the store. Late in the evening I went in my sewing room and started working with my tools again. It seems I will be giving myself a refresher course at home too since I have been away from my hobby for way over a year now.
So as it stands I am trying to build positive cord beliefs even when faced with emotional and physical obstacles. One thing that has crossed my mind is will my positive distractions become a negative because of the negative real life events that are occurring at the same time..Or will I find the distractions a peaceful escape from the sometimes harsh realities that one is faced with in life..
I am thinking about creating some chicken place mats or pot holders for the one I am concerned about. She is a young mother and will be starting Chemo soon. She loves things with chickens on them. I am hoping to lift her spirits and mine too while I am working on this project....
Good idea..I think I will give it a try tomorrow. Well maybe tonight. I am posting from my sewing room right now.
I have been really wanting to spend some time in my sewing room with my fabric and sewing machine for some time now but have been letting my negative thoughts and triggers control me. These negative thoughts that I have are in no way related to sewing so this may just be the perfect activity to counter any negative triggers and thoughts when they arise and it may just replace them with a positive association. Quilting takes a lot of concentration and focus and I do enjoy it so I think it could work..I just might just end up building positive core beliefs and quilt blocks at the same time..
Red..
p.s.
I am looking at someof my beautiful Christmas fabric right now..I just love reds and greens. I really do want to finish my Christmas quilt that I started last year. Thanks Davit :):)
I definitely had less anxiety when i was physically able to occupy my time. I don't like the news either. An exercise I have been doing is to take a trigger when I am not anxious and flip it over so it becomes a positive trigger. Some times outright lying to myself by concentrating on something positive to get a positive association to the trigger. This is like building mini core beliefs. They aren't necessarily accurate but like core beliefs repetition makes them acceptable. Usually if a trigger can't trigger something negative it will stop doing it because it only did it in the first place as a survival skill. It is only looking to see if it is necessary. It is us that says whether it is or not. Just more CBT. More negative to positive.
Thanks for taking the time to share the information that you received today with me. This all makes a lot of sense and really strikes a heart felt cord with me. I guess you could say it definitely hits the nail on the head.
The negative triggers sure do cause a chain reaction which can lead to a downward spiral pretty quickly at times. What you said about certain scenarios or scenes in movie or on television can definitely trigger all kinds of negative memories for me. This is one of those situations that can bring up all kinds of negative thoughts especially if one has had a lot of traumatic life experiences. Hence the reason I am not crazy about watching the news or violent movies..
I do think that engaging in so type of positive activity helps. I was a very physical person most of my life and the hard labor took me out of negative place and away from the negative thoughts. Now that I am no longer able to do all the hard physical work it is a lot harder because this is how I worked it out and healed myself. I have found that cooking helps redirect my thoughts and I do enjoy it. Reading is good especially if it is educational. Walking helps but having to travel to a peaceful place to walk can be a bit wearing and is sometimes to much. So I guess I am still learning and looking for some more activities that take me away from the negative thoughts, that are just below the surface. I am finding it harder to be out in the hustle and bustle in the city. The people are just to close for comfort for me now a days and find it is unbearable these days. So I will keep looking for things to do of interest at home. I really feel more relaxed and comfortable here at home anyway..I guess I am really a homebody at heart..
It would appear that mood has a lot to do with this type of anxiety in that mood dictates what sort of thoughts we have. It also seems that negative thoughts stay longer than positives. It appears that they happen more often when there is less turn over of activity. Being occupied allows more variety of thought and the chance to feed in some positives.
So it would go like this, a negative trigger activates a negative thought which in turn being somewhat depressing slows down activity and allows it to become more obvious and try to surface in turn slowing down more activity by trying to block it and just making it more obvious. The negative trigger can be as simple as doing something you don't want to or worse waiting to do it. Any activity that takes concentration lessens the chance of it happening. The worst part is that things like bad news can subconsciously trigger it by playing similar bad news situations from memory. Bad experiences from the past in relation to something you plan to do is an example. Now if we have a lot of bad experiences as you and I do we have a lot of associated memory we can play just below the surface so some times it can be hard to find a new thought to work with that isn't related. Switching to an activity that you enjoy and will keep your mind busy even if not your hands will work. Watching a movie works as long as there is nothing in it that is associated with the trigger that started the just below the surface thoughts trigger. Annoying commercials would not be a good idea.
Multiple bad news increases the difficulty of finding thoughts that will not act as triggers. Staring them in the face doesn't seem to work for getting rid of them in the same way it does with panic attacks because they are real not like panic thoughts. Knowing you lived through the bad experiences is a positive thought to start with. Still it calls for using the CBT techniques that we normally use subconscious to relax and cope consciously.
Also, allowing them to surface lets you know what you are dealing with but of course can be unpleasant. There doesn't seem to be an answer other than to keep working on positives which I will do. Talking it out with someone definitely reduces it's importance too.
I have my Great Grandfathers framed copy of the 23rd psalm that I keep in a china cabinet. It has to be way over one hundred years old now. I was always drawn to it as as child it and was admiring it at my mothers 9 years ago so gave it to me when I was getting ready to go on a harsh medical treatment that would last for 6 months with weekly self injections of interferon and daily tabs of ribavirin. She said she felt having it would help me make it though the treatments that I was doing at home all alone and it did and it has been helping me ever since. The story goes that my Great Grandfather MacPhail held this very same framed psalm in his hands and recited it on the night that he was dieing of heart failure. He took comfort in it and he was not afraid because him knew he would be resting peacefully in the green pastures with God our father. This same framed psalm have given me strength many many times and helped me when I was afraid and feeling alone. I take comfort in seeing it daily and reading it too..
Sorry I didn't mean to get so serious but this is a story that I wanted to share here and tell. Now on to another topic. You mentioned your seeing Tracy this Tuesday. I am very interested in hearing what Tracy has to say about this just below the surface type of anxiety thoughts and possible ways of dealing with them. I would love it if you would share her thoughts with us here after you see her..
I like the 23rd psalm. Mostly because it isn't a give me psalm. I've always wondered where it came from since it is so different. The rest seem so selfish. Mine not to question but I do. It is short and easy to remember.
Always a toss up when a person has Arthritis is juggling sleep with stiffening up. The best for me seems to be having a nap around noon.
I'm going to see Tracy on Tuesday and get her thoughts on how to deal with these just below the surface anxiety thoughts. I'll also find out how common it is. She is good, if anyone has an answer it will be her.
I quit smoking over thirty five years ago. I never have a craving. I do miss smoking a pipe just to keep my hands occupied. But I can't stand the smell of cigarette smoke. Seems I left all my bad habits behind a long time ago.
Some blue sky today, it has been a long time since the sun shone. Nice change. Here the wind blows either of two directions depending on what it is going to do, one direction brings snow. That is the direction it is today
