Hi Ashley, Thank you for moving the thread and for your caring words. The What If's are getting to me the most right now but I will know more when I see the surgeon at the end of July. We will discuss a revision surgery and steroid injections at that time. So there is hope. Unfornately I have been summoned to Jury duty again starting August 2 and will be on call for jury service for 30 days so hopefully my service will be finished by September 4 unless they call me to serve on a jury starting on that date then my obligation would be for longer. So as you can see I have a lot of What If's going on at the same time in my life right now. I may not be able to have my 2nd facial reconstruction revision surgery if needed and possible until late September after I am done with jury duty. I really don't have a lot of control of the situation at this point and have been feeling a lot of anger over it especially today, but I am working my way through the feelings slowly and taking good care of myself as I do this. So not to worry. This is just going to take time. That's what I keep telling myself many times every day... Now I just have to start believing it. I do feel a little better this evening and my face is looking a little better too and as the days go by I continue to heal. Time is on my side this time for I find I have lots of it these days.....Red....
Thank you for your updates. It is so inspiring to see how you are always searching for wellness. I agree, it likely is normal to feel down and anxious after a surgery like you described. Be sure to be compassionate with yourself and all your feelings. I think it will take time to start to feel better but knowing you, I have no doubt you will be feeling better soon. In the mean time keep taking good care of yourself.
Ashley...Could you move this thread under the forum subject titled Challenging your anxious thoughts? It seems like a more appropriate place for The Daily Thread. Do you agree? Thanks Red....
Update...I read a article online written for surgeons who are setting up a practice which involves mohs surgery to remove cancer and plastic surgeon to reconstruction the disfigurement caused by such surgery. The said that the face is way with we communication and express ourselves and our faces are a integral part of this expression. That is was not uncommon for patient that have had this surgery to experience anxiety and long term depression as they come to terms with their disfigurement particularly in the western countries where ones cosmetic appearance has had some much important put on being cosmetically beautiful and perfect. They stated that women experience more anxiety and depression after these disfiguring surgeries then men. Anyway after reading and digesting this article it seems that it is pretty normal for me to be having the negative feeling anxiety and depression that I am having right now. I am trying to get work my way through these feeling. They did mention that some patients may need to be put on medication to help them with the emotional pain that they are feeling. This suggestion is not one I will be trying because the side effects of these medications that they use when taken by me have caused me to have severe anxiety, severe depression and suicidal thinking in the past. No I will continue to search for help and answers and look within myself and find some way to deal with the emotional and physical scars that I am find myself left with right now......That's all for now. Thanks for listening.....Red.....
Lately I am finding that I am having trouble using positive distractions to help with my anxieties and some tag along depression. Meaning that I am having trouble putting my anxieties aside so that I can concentrate and focus on my hobbies again. Today I am hoping to a do a little reading. My quilting is to hard for me to do right now because it takes a extreme amount of focus. I have been reading patterns but can't seem to move forward. I downloaded a new novel to my kindle so today I am going to see if I can concentrate on reading for at least 30 minutes. The goal is to get myself out of this anxiety/panic cycle so that I can move in a positive forward direction again. I hate being stuck in this purgatory and definitely do not want to let myself slip into the pit again.....Red...
Update: I saw the Plastic surgeon this morning. The appointment went well and I was pleasantly surprised. We have a plan. I see him again in 6 weeks and we will take it from there once we see how the scars are healing. He didn't do the usual "wham bam thank you ma'am" like all my other surgeons have done after surgery over the last 10 years.
He is standing by me and following through on the surgery he preformed on me. This is a rarity in this day and age and first experience like this for me in decades. Of course he is in his seventies so I think he is very old school in his approach to way he takes of and treats his patients. I am feeling relieved and not worryrd at all right now so I will just take it one day at a time and am confident that he will do the right thing by me...Red:)
Hi Davit..Not as I planned today and I am very upset. This is not what I expected at all so I Did call the plastic surgeons office today about a problem I am having with his reconstruction on my face and nose. I will see and talk to him early tomorrow a.m. I am anxious to find out if, how and when he can fix it. The outcome so far is not what I expected at all. So it looks like I will be back on the table again in a few weeks or months. He did say if a problem arose from the skin flap repair he could take down the defects with another surgery. They were going to have me see a nurse tomorrow and not the doctor but I put my foot down and demanded to see him as soon as possible and not weeks from now either so that he can access the problem and hopefully come up with a plan and date to correct his surgery. It's called a reversion. Would of been nice if he had got it right the first time around..Of course this one will not be covered by my insurance because they consider it cosmetic surgery. Oh well I am glad I can pinch a penny and have money put away to cover the costs. Yep the doctors do know how to make a buck here in the states. To bad they have to torture us patients and steal our lives saving so they can get rich...Red...:( P.S. I wish I could of told you that all is fine here today like a usually do. I just couldn't fake it this time..So the truth is out I am not ok..
Red, good to hear things are moving along.
Nice to hear from you davit. Mom's garden has some roses popping up, two different shades of rose and a deep red so far, with another creamy pink poking through. Irises are blowing out, and peonies aren't showing much this year, since I probably didn't amend the soil as much as I could have.
