Red,
Wish I'm settling after the bank screwed up, and I confronted them. Hopefully I'll settle after a few days. Exercise helps, but sleepwise, I'm going to get some coaching from a sleep clinic.
Hugs..I guess my mind must be getting old but I had one more thing I wanted to say before but forgot to say it out loud in print that is. I hope your are feeling better today too...Red:))
Hi again Hugs...I forgot to mention this in my earlier post but I wanted to let you know I think you are a sweet and beautiful person too. Just in case you hadn't noticed. You have a special ability to reach out and touch others in need on the site here and I am sure it is noticed and appreciated by all who really know you..Thanks for being here Hugs.. I appreciate you, your friendship and your kind words to me today...Your Friend....Red:))))
Hi Hugs. Thank you for your moral support and good cheer this morning. I ventured out this morning for early morning walk as a distraction from the continuous loop of worry and anxious thoughts I have been having and am feeling pretty good right now. I checked in here and read your post and feel even better now. Your so right, we're as beautiful as we think we are. Thank you for the reminder. I have been told in the past that I am a sweet and beautiful person. So I guess that is what really matters isn't it.. The person I am on the outside will not change the person I am on the inside. I give God credit for that one and take comfort in knowing he is with me always...Red...
Red,
Hope you're feeling better. Cosmetic surgeon Max Malz wrote the book Psychocybernetics about goal setting, following the discovery that surgery doesn't change core beliefs around self-image. As cliché as it is, we're as beautiful as we think we are...
I am still using the 10 questions list and distractions to challenge my anxious thoughts while waiting to have my surgery and see how it all turns out. It will be a year before I totally heal and know how my face will look. Life sure does have its twists and turns and I have come realize how unpredictable life really is.
Last night was a night full of disturbing dreams again since I found out that I'm having another surgery. I never had this experience before other surgeries but my last surgery and later unrelated medical procedures have been very frightening and painful. I have a headache this morning from all the worry while sleeping. My PTSD seems to pretty much effect my daily life in some negative way. I am really sick of it....Red :(
Hi Ashley..Red here with a little update..Did my exposure at the doctors yesterday. We discussed my options for treatment. Radiation or Moh's surgery followed up by reconstruction with a plastic surgeon on the same. Doctor felt I was a little young for radiation which is a compliment really being I am almost 61 now. The nurses were great and one of them has had the surgery and has a barely visible scar. Plus the cure rate is 97 to 99 percent with this surgery. So I am all scheduled for June 9 so wish me luck. It would be a lie if I said I was not scared but I have to tell you I used mindfulness breathing exercises while I was laying on the exam table waiting to talk to the doctor and was able to relax my mind and stay present and focused on the conversation when he walked in. I even managed to make one of the nurses laugh. So now it is today and not yesterday anymore and the intrusive negative thoughts and fears are present but I am using mindfulness and positive distractions to stay focused on the positives because I really have no fact based reason to not think it will all come out fine. That 10 question list that I keep in my mind is coming in handy again. Just one of the many things I learned from you and the site here.
Well thanks as always for listening Ashley.
It's off I must go to work on and create a new quilting project. I already finished one that I was working on as a positive distraction while I was waiting a month to see these doctors and it helped me a lot. Quilting is a precision hobby that takes extreme focus so there really is hardly any room left in ones mind for any negative or intrusive thoughts to enter when one is quilting except for the occasional mistakes and seams that have to be ripped out and done over but that is really no big deal compared to lot of others stuff in life. Actually I welcome it as a learning experience because it is something that can be fixed with a few little stitches..
I'm tired today. The parish priest asked if he could telephone me, and I feel empty, wondering what other demands could drain me, since I feel so tired.
