can someone tell me what HALT is?
I know that one of my biggest triggers is anxiety. And instigating a relationship is a bit unnerving, but the good ones hopefully don't stress you out too much.
I don't have the situation you all have - no kids, no divorce, but I can definitely relate - I am not a big fan of rejection, but it happens - I'm just building my confidence up to accept it better. My last girlfriend I actually found thru matchdotcom. It takes some of the edge of the process. Good luck and no matter what, stay quit.
fish
Ouch guys and girls! Feel for you.......but it must be easier to attract someone when you don't smell like a smoker!
Time will sort it out.............Brent
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/8/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 52
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 368
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �260
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 8 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 42 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17
I'm an introvert and not smoking has made me even worse in social situations so I have put my social life on hold until I have developed better coping skills. I have taken up beading and cooking. Not that I am any good at either. I also do crossword puzzles and I created a blog about....what else, not smoking. I download music from the 'net to use when I do step aerobics and I have quite a collection. I have sold a couple of things on Ebay (but bought more than that) and next week I'm going to take a class at Lowes on how to install a faucet. I am seriously considering installing a ceramic tile floor too. Depends on how the faucet goes. If I had not quit smoking, I would not be doing ANY of this and probably still not dating anyway. I think it is true that as a smoker, I had a really big strike against me when it came to dating. All of these things I am doing instead of smoking are making me a better person and I am looking forward to the day when I decide I am ready to date again. Smoking only made me stink. Oh, and I have a cat. Pets do wonders! Try to find something to do that makes you feel good. Plan little rewards. Try a new hobby. Take a class. Re-decorate that bedroom. I hope I'm not sounding korny.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/26/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 64
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,293
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $192
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 6 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 34 [B]Seconds:[/B] 44
Thank you all for listening... Hummy makes a good point
about finding common interests... joining clubs etc. My
problem is I don't know what I like... I loved being with
my wife... and when alone,I loved smoking... I guess I need
a hobby. And Lady I don't know if it's harder for a man to raise kids alone or not. I don't think it's easy for anyone!! I do
think it is easier to be a shy woman than a shy man when it comes to dating or meeting new people. The single women have to beat the men off with a stick. LOL.. I also think love finds us not the other way around but I've got to get out of the house if I'm ever going to be found!! I'm still very glad I don't smoke... even if I spend most
of my free time wishing I wasn't alone... Thanks again to everyone
for listening. :) I'm feeling a little better now...
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/15/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 106
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,730
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $371
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 15 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 3 [B]Seconds:[/B] 49
Since my divorce 4 years ago(the cause of my last
relapse)I have really struggled with the L in HALT.
I'm a single Dad with 2 teenage boys at home with me.
Every other weekend they spend with their Mom and that's
when I struggle. I should look forward to the freedom...
but there is only dread. I'm a fairly nice looking 42
year old( full head of hair...nice smile 6 ft 185 lbs)
I've started going out to eat in in bar type places
alone as I have no friends male of female to hang out with.
I'm trying to make myself approach people and I become
overwelmed with anxiety. Ladies make eye contact and I
look away... For me to stay quit I have to overcome this fear
or learn to accept being alone... I know this is not directly
related to smoking but I'm over 100 days quit and being alone
is the only thing that triggers smoking thoughts.
Thank you all for listening to me whine!! As Lady says "this
too shall pass.... :(
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/15/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 106
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,726
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $371
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 15 [B]Hrs:[/B] 19 [B]Mins:[/B] 31 [B]Seconds:[/B] 34
Quote Lady
[quote]
"The single women have to beat the men off with a stick."
Yeah Right! Every day I have this problem!
[/quote]
You have finally noticed me then My Lady :eg:
digitagain .. you are a fairly nice looking 42 year old
You at least have a chance ;p
Im an ugly fat 50 year old crabbie bar steward and have two teenage daughters
The eldest lives with the village idiot and the youngest with her mother ... but I still quit smoking :8|:
I have taken the attitude .. better an empty house than a bad tennant :8o:
Hey My Lady ..we goin disco dancin again on Fri ;p
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/7/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 236
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,733
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �1132.8
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 39 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 43 [B]Seconds:[/B] 26
diditagain....LMAOROTF
"The single women have to beat the men off with a stick."
Yeah Right! Every day I have this problem! :8o: :p
Hang in there. I'm sure you will find a way to fill the void. I've often said that I would just go to the movie theather and hang out in front until "Mr. Right" drives up and asks me out. LOL
No matter what....we just wont smoke! :)
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 212
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,253
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $742
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 43 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17
Newbkr...(((HUGS)))) my friend. My heart goes out to you. I must say you are much braver than I. I have had one (Yes only one) kind of, sort of, in a way, but not really - date in 3 1/2 years and it wasn't even really supose to be a date. Just kind of turned out to be that way. I think fate has a lot to do with it all. When the time is right it will happen.
Give yourself time. I obviously have no words of wisdom in this category. All I can say is just don't smoke! It won't help anything.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 212
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,252
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $742
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 38 [B]Seconds:[/B] 59
Diditagain. This has everything to do with not smoking. I have been divorced for 3 1/2 years and am trying to raise 2 boys on my own as well. I know people say that is harder to do when you are the dad but I don't think it really is. I still have to work every day and make sure all the bills are paid just like any guy would have to do and at least by you being male you know what to do with boys! I am totally clueless as my only brother was a baby when I left home.
Every other weekend I am alone as well. I don't drink or go out to bars; it's just not my thing. I don't have a lot of friends because I work and go to school all the time. All that thrown together with more than just one divorce just kind of limits my desire to be "involved" again. It is during these weekends that I get empty house syndrome. I really just don't know what to do with myself when everyone is away. I enjoy these times because I really need the break but� this is when I too think of smoking. I am over six months quit and these are still my biggest trigger moments.
It's funny you say you have to "learn to accept being alone" because this is exactly what I call it. I don't really want to be alone but I really don't want to be with anyone either (mainly out of fear).
This is the biggest issue I have with "NOT" smoking. I am still developing the coping skills to deal with the alone times and I find myself spending a lot of this time on the site and chatting with my quit buddies. But they are not always available because they have lives :) .
Diditagain....I'm right there with you. As it is with every other trigger, we have to learn coping skills. If you figure it out before I do, please let me know. ;p
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 212
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,251
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $742
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 18 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 37 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17
