Todd, We all experience different withdrawal symptoms when we quit smoking, and some people do get depressed. Quitting smoking is hard and often people find it hard to make such a dramatic change in their lifestyle. Although side effects may be unpleasant, they should pass. When you experience withdrawal symptoms, remind yourself that each symptom is a sign of recovery. Your body is in the process of healing itself. If your depression persists, or seems worse than you expected, you should immediately consult your doctor. It�s possible that your smoking has been masking symptoms of your past history, and when you stop smoking the symptoms may abruptly become noticeable. If you�re uncomfortable talking to your doctor about depression you may want to take The Depression Test at: www.depressioncenter.net/depressiontest. The test gives you a �Final Report� that you can print off and hand to your doctor. Take Care, Melanie _______________________ The SSC Support Team

hey todd, Yep breaking up sucks.. But like i have been reading in so many posts that having a cigg isn't going to cure anything or fix anything and it isn't going to bring her back to you. You have to stay strong right now.. I know when people have said this to me I wanted to slap them silly and didn't really want to hear it but "if it's ment to be, it will be". I now know that saying to be true. so hang in there, keep posting and let us know how your doing.. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 19 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 593 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $123.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 6 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17

Good for you fish! Stay strong, you can do this! Seems like your staying busy and that does help. With all that running who would want a cig?? I believe that when one door closes another opens, hang on things will get better! BJ [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 21 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 435 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $52.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 16 [B]Mins:[/B] 17 [B]Seconds:[/B] 53

Hi, my name's Todd. Sometimes I go by stu or fishoutofwater. I have been to this site before - ~2 years ago. I've quit many times - too many to count... Over a year - 12 years ago, 87 days - ~2years ago, ~30 days - ~4-5 years ago, 7-14 days - several times, a day, an hour, minutes - too many times. I hate smoking much more than I ever loved it. I remember the pain in my chest when I ran or exerted myself - like rolling out of bed, the coughing, the self-loathing, the stench - the smell of wasted, burning money - all for the disgusting chunks of brown, gunky phlegm I gagged up. I remember brushing my teeth at my girlfriend's house and thinking how gross it sounded when I'd 'hack up a lung'. She must have loved me to put up with that - sheesh. I love her and I loved cigarettes to death - mine. I hate them for lying to me, decieving me, cheating me, luring me. But now they're both gone. One week we were talking about moving in together next summer, the next, she thought it was best if we were friends. She didn't know how to deal with her doubts about us while staying together. We had had some trouble in the fall after dating for a little over a year. It seemed we were working through it, stumbling - probably ignoring rather than dealing directly. Eel (that's her nickname) told me a week and a half before xmas that I was doing everything right, it just wasn't enough. She was having a minor surgery over the xmas break so she wouldn't miss too much work from down time. She told me she thought we shouldn't communicate at all during her recovery. I held on to her xmas presents - have since returned the ones I could. Apparently, the candy store doesn't take returns on swedish fish, her favorite fish. I had already thought of quitting smoking on the day of her surgery so we could suffer together. God, I never knew how alone I'd be. Thank god for you guys - I can be a wreck and still log in to your words of wisdom and encouragement. Xmas suh-hucked, but I was with my family, so I kept myself busy and around good support. I was just miserable. "Let it be" by the Beatles, I sang in my head from when I woke 'til my tearful rejoining with the pillow at night. I felt sad, pathetic, rejected, weak, angry - like a child who doesn'

man, you guys really are great. I can't say how much I appreciate the support right now. I had a great day. I played golf with my pops and my brother then went for about a 4 mi run with my brother - who I burned - and he's never smoked. We're gonna run a 10k together in a couple of months - part of my long term goal of running a marathon within the next 2 years. After our run, I went and walked another 9 holes. I was looking forward to a nice uneventful evening - go home, take a shower get something to eat, watch a movie, go to sleep. I think I overdid the activities as I began to feel rather low and was considering the meeting tomorrow - thinking of avoiding it - maybe I'm better off not seeing her - this friends thing seems like it may be destructive and unhealthy to me as I feel like I'm holding on to hope and I wonder if that just makes me a sucker. I know that I really do have good intentions. I want the best for her and for her to be happy - of course, I want the same for myself. When I see her, I know I'm just going to want to hold her though and I don't need the rejection right now. I just want to scream. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH! That's a little better. Again - thank you all so much. Groovekitty, thanks for the kind words. Silver, thanks for the prayer. Melanie and Ladybugg, I checked out the depression site - apparently, I'm pretty normal, thank you for the encouragement. Mrs. Robinson, I tried zyban which has the same chemical - I really didn't like it so much. I think time'll cure what ails me - it's just helpful to vent. CJ, very sweet, thanks. Nan, thanks for the hug and encouragement - it means alot right now. Newbkr, thanks for the thoughts and good wishes - I'll check back in. Jess, thanks for the sentiments, really. Brent, I'll try to pocket your wise words and keep them in the back of my head - thanks. It felt really great to see those responses - they seemed heartfelt and I really appreciate it. fish [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/21/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 30 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 925 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $150 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 39

Well, lunch never happened and then we were going to do dinner. That got nixed as well. I played golf in the morning and since I didn't go to lunch with her, I went with the fellows. I made the mistake of drinking (we went to a sports bar near her house to watch some games/eat/etc. for the afternoon) and getting emotional and then confronting her. Actually, maybe it wasn't a mistake since it probably needed to be done. I told her I couldn't do the 'just friends' thing as I'm too emotionally involved and she told me she didn't want a relationship with me. I guess at least now I have some resolution. Part of me wishes things could be different but I'm trying to see this as the best outcome right now - not much choice - might as well try to find some good in it. I'm being challenged and my quit is holding strong. In retrospect, I had a couple of weak moments at the bar when a couple of the guys were smoking. I had a bit of a desire to come back to my old friend. Fortunately, it doesn't take much remembering at this point to realize that cigarettes were never my friend, truly. keep on keepin' on - fish

Todd, I use wellbutrin for depression and when I stopped smoking it really helped alot.It kills 2 birds with one stone! I still get down but not as bad as I did before the med. And it cut my cravings GREATLY! Congrats on the 30 days! Keep the quit, don't throw it away! M.Robinson :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/3/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 17 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 349 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $59.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 1 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 50 [B]Seconds:[/B] 32

Todd....... Breaking up is one of the most stressful things a person can go thru.....and I feel for you right now. There's really nothing anyone can say that will make the pain go away - all I know (from experience, of course) is that it will. You are definitely allowed to "ramble" :) That's what this site is for - to help each other get thru the really tough spots. If you need to vent, cry, yell, ramble, froth at the mouth, do it....as long as it keeps you occupied and away from smoking......do it! Stay strong...... [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/19/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 31 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 478 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $209.25 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 2 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 53

I remember on several occasions in my life some idiot telling me that "time is a great healer", I just wanted to slap them. Funny though.......... Congratulations on a tremendous 29 days, no-one but you can take that way....and I have a feeling that you are not about to. On relationships.....sure they need working at...but what will be will be. Will keep my fingers crossed for lunch but go with the flow my friend. Brent [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/8/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 43 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 306 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �215 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 7 [B]Mins:[/B] 8 [B]Seconds:[/B] 27

Todd: My heart is breaking for you. Very tough situation on top of not smoking. I know you can make it and sorry for your sadness. Glad you are coming to the site to post. We are always here for you !! CJ [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/8/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 73 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,472 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $204.4 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 13 [B]Mins:[/B] 41 [B]Seconds:[/B] 38