Thanks Colleen and Fish and Breaking Free and Martha and Rob and No Smoking and Jonlin and everyone.
I feel amazingly supported and cared for thank you and bless you.
I am so glad that I have you all on my journey.
I haven't said this before and perhaps I shouldn't say this but this is really group therapy for me. A little impersonal, perhaps, because it is over a cable and into a computer but believe me it is still group therapy.
This is also peer counselling. I am grateful and really impressed by the "work" that is done here and the amount of sharing, the ability to remain accountable and the awesome amount of change and action towards personal betterment that happens within this site. I should know this is what I "do". I am constantly astounded by the support and the amount of care that is extended here on this site. Today it was my priveledge and my honour to receive the support and care of my peers and those around me. Thank you.
The support that I was benefitted with today was something I just could not give myself, today. I was overwhelmed and anxious and just giving myself too much to do. I pulled back and all seemed to go better. I did a one hour swim tonight which has moved from 600 to 800 metres, to between 1200 and 1400 metres. Today I did 1400 metres, thats 56 lengths in the 25 metre pool. I would have said that doing that was crazy in January and now I want to get even faster to do 1600 in the hour or 1800 and we, I, will see. I am celebrating that I have stuck to the swimming. I am celebrating that I am sticking to the quit. There are so many physical benefits to the not smoking and besides I got told this afternoon that I smelled good. I always like when people tell me I smell good and it was one of the things that I was very self concious about as a smoker.
So I have not smoked. I was very very low today and I believe it was straight from the amount of energy I was putting into the thought of smoking. When I took that energy and placed it on reading, swimming, having a lovely dinner, (avocadoes are great right now). Placing the thoughts on something else I was able to shift the energy. I hope that it was more than momentary and I will see what happens tomorrow.
Thank You all. Blessings and good energy to you all. I can not say
