Well, Thank you! All of you!
I feel better today, and thing is.. i didn't sleep well last night because I was out on the road with my husband who just wrecked yet another of our cars (He wrecked one last month too - he's OK, just sore) and he called from the road to tell me about this while I was finally in the bathtub having a nice long soak and feeling better.
I tried to be a B**** this morning.. honestly, i did. I complained. I'm afraid. We're more broke than we've been in years right now, and can't get another car. The kids have to be driven back and forth from after school programs and hubby will need the car.
If I was in the same state I was yesterday.. I should be rather freaked out, and suprisingly, I feel OK right now. Scared, and stressed, but I meen - not like yesterday. That wasn't even normal.
So - there goes my fear that i was having yesterday - that it was all about me not being able to cope with anything at all. I can cope. I do need to learn new things, and I do need to go on yet another journey of self discovery, but I can cope.
Yesterday I felt like someone had rubbed every single nerve ending in my body with sand paper, and they were all awake and screaming.. "SMOKE! SMOKE! RIGHT NOW!" It was the worste it has ever been for me since I quit.
This has happened to me now 3 times since I quit. It hasn't been a constant feeling throughout the entire experience and most days are relatively easy, but it does sneek up on me, and this time it lasted about a day and a half.
Thank you for the heads up about 30 days and 100 days. I understand that some people can manifest withdrawal simptoms if you warn them about them, and that puts people in a tough spot. But at least now if I go through something hellish in another week, i'll just know.. "OK, it's just happening again, and it will pass, so let's just get through this." Instead of wondering if i'm having a stroke or gonna die, or will never ever be able to cope with anything.
BG.. thanks for the search tip. Everyone else.. thank you so much for understanding, and for being honest with me.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/17/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 25
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,398
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $325
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]D