Well, when I would have hit 300 days, I wrote [url=http://www.stopsmokingcenter.net/support/viewmessages.aspx?forum=18&topic=28678]what could have been[/url]. Today, I would have celebrated 1 year. I've been anxiously awaiting this day for a while, but mainly so I could just get it over with. I wasn't sure how I would react... part of me thought I would probably spend all day in bed or crying about it, mourning the loss of the quit that died less than 8 months ago, but that definitely hasn't been the case.
Today, I was in a car accident. This past Tuesday, I dislocated my shoulder at work. However, because it is a pre-existing condition, it is not covered under worker's comp, so I'm not receiving any worker's comp benefits, but I'm still not able to do my job so I have been laid off until I get surgery on my shoulder, which may be a while. I also now have some exuberant medical bills because of the dislocation and will inevitably have some heavy mechanic bills because of the accident, so needless to say, life isn't exactly great at the moment. But here's the bright side to all of this. I do not want to smoke. I don't even miss smoking. One year ago today, I started this incredible journey. I have made some mistakes along the way and I have also grown as a person through those mistakes. I have also celebrated many achievements and have so much to be proud for. The latter is so much more important now than the former. Throughout the past year, so many changes have happened to me, both in my life and inside of me personally. I am so blessed just to be here and still be smoke free that how on earth can I mourn on the day I started my freedom? Sure, I made some mistakes, but I would not be who I am had I not made them.
Just one short year ago, I probably would have smoked my lungs out had all of these things happened to me. The strength and determination that I have gained through the quitting process has allowed me to stand tall despite the challenges in my life. In the past year, I have been faced with many, many, many challenges. The one thing I have learned, if nothing else, is that smoking will not solve any of my problems, nor did quitting cause them.
Do I miss smoking? Not one single bit. Do I want to smoke right now? Not at