Christmas............that festive time of year...........
Problem is, a number of things will conspire to make you forget your quit and give into the evil drug. You must be on your guard and look out for a sequence of events that can lead to a slip or worse....
It will start simply enough.....the realisation that you have not done any Christmas shopping and it is 4.00pm on Christmas Eve. The only shop left open has a wonderous choice at truly competitive prices :8o:
Still you fight off the urge to light up....after all....the money you have saved by stopping smoking has helped to pay for that $500 trinket for your loved one.........
You get home, creep upstairs, get out that industrial sized roll of wrapping paper you bought in 1994 and start wrapping. Sitting in the middle of a pile of identical sized parcels, you realise that you have forgotten to tag any of them. At this point, Aunt Ethel (93) gets the amusing blow up toy and book of Rugby songs that you hoped would get one over on your brother. After all, you opened his gift to you last year in front of the relatives and are a still embarassed beyond belief.
The great day arrives and still you have not sucumbed to the evil weed. You decide to stuff the Turkey and discover that it is still frozen, in fact, it's still in the freezer.......and you aint getting the 76lb monster in a tiny microwave.
The relatives arrive.......you check for breathing with a mirror as the old dears all troop in.....damned if you recognise any of them.....pretty sure that one on the end went next door last year....the really worrying thing is they have all got suitcases.
There is a scream from upstairs......the wife discovers the turkey in the bath.....after she has got into the water.
You still haven't even thought about smoking......this is because you are now two thirds of the way down the bottle of port.......it was the only decent present you got, the others all being socks.....all 213 pairs of them featuring Bart Simpson playing an amusing little ditty........
The Turkey is now burnt on the outside and swimming with salmonella on the inside.....you cope however by cutting slices and finishing them off in the toaster.
It is only 3.00pm and you look at your bald Christmas Tree. It cost �35 per fo