Thank you so much for sharing your story. How true that we depended on cig's to cope with all emotional (both happy and stressful) situations. I remember the time before I started smoking that I disliked smoker's, and second hand smoke. I'm trying hard to think about that time before my addiction to cigerettes. I'm trying to remember the person I was then...I will find that person again, only this time, I will have the ability to cope with what life throws at me without having a cigeretee. It's a learning process, and we need to be patient with ourselves. Reward yourself often and post updates on yourself here often. There is alot of great advice and help on this site. Welcome!!! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/7/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 8 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 185 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $44 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 52 [B]Seconds:[/B] 34

Thanks ParrotLady! Right on target - Hit and Sink. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/19/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] -2 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0

I've been very depressed lately. I'm experiencing anticipatory mourning for a dear friend of mine - smoking. My friend has been there for me in times of trouble. If I get upset, it is there for me without readily identifiable baggage. It is in conflict with my true love and reason for life- my kids and so therefore, must be sacrificed. The hard part will be that I recognize that my relationship with my kids is one-sided - I'm all here for them with the end goal that they will move on to their own adult lives. Of course I want to be there for that time as well as in addition to being available (without smelling like smoke) to help them with their homework, play a game, referee a fight, put them to bed, etc. at this point in their lives right now. Most of all, I don't want to be instrumental in having them suffer the consequences of having me die of a drawn-out terminal illness (it may happen anyway, but I don't want to be overtly responsible for it). And, I don't want to model that smoking is OK only to have them be instrumental in their own drawn-out terminal illness. I first took a drag of a cigarette when I was 13 and the group with which I had gone to see the show Jaws at the movie theater said they were going to the bathroom to smoke (ok, so now I'm dating myself). For the next two years I had cigarettes in a zip lock baggie in the woods and I scavanged cigarette remnents. By the time I was 16 I was buying a pack a day. I smoked in the bathroom most of the day at school. Our code phrase for the watchguard if a teacher came was "how was your test today" in response to which we (those of us in the stalls smoking - would put out our cigarettes and get out of there). Chain smoking in the woods where I lived, in the dark, by myself is a pleasant memory. By the time I was in 18 and in college I was two packs a day. At the age of 23 I became engaged to be married and thought that smoking was in conflict with devoting my life to another person (while at the same time robbing them of my life) and having the children that I wanted. It took me about 4 years to quit, trying all the angles - only one cigarette every so often, "here you hold my cigarettes and only give them to me at such and such a time no matter what I say" (I don't know how my then

I'm sorry. I'm new to all this computer communication stuff and I thought that I posted this in the "Introduce Yourself" section. And it is there, but here too. Lucky me b/c I didn't get any responses there and I am so glad for everyone of my repsonses here. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/19/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] -3 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0

Sunflower, how nice of you to actually read my saga and provide such a complete response. Nice presentation. Are you trying to tell me that I don't have to take that crap off my friend? What a concept, really. I've thought about your response today in terms of prompting me toward my quiting experience and I've decided that you may bring forth the issues of low self esteem, or subservience (same thing?), self-harm behaviors and overall slow, wimpy, suicide. I'm going to give these some thought. thanks for taking the time. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/19/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] -3 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0

CobenFan: I don't expect my kids to be proud. In fact, at their age, I imagine that they will be more disgusted by the fact that I did it and will hopefully never realize the struggle involved. When I chose this pen name, I tried to think of something that transcended my present state and would apply to me once I'm on the other side. You're right, I'm far from "all clear". Thanks for the direction. But, I have to admit that I am far from doing this for myself. If I were stranded on a deserted island with a "life time" supply of cigarettes, I would smoke and probably enjoy every one. But you are right, at some point, this needs to be about me. I'm hoping for that light switch moment. Thank you everyone else for your comments and support - they mean a lot. You are why I am spending time on the computer and not smoking at increasing times during the day and night. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 11/19/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] -2 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0

Hi Imallclear, I am struck by your sentence: [quote] I have to admit that I am far from doing this for myself. If I were stranded on a deserted island with a "life time" supply of cigarettes, I would smoke and probably enjoy every one. [/quote] and I ask you to read this and then reevaluate: (I forget who posted it, but it was a long timer and I copied it into my inspriational writings folder) The Lie vs. The Truth 1. My cigarettes are my friend Friend or master? What kind of "friend" would deprive you of oxygen, take away your ability to smell, burn your clothes, destroy your teeth, harden your arteries, elevate your blood pressure, daily feed you 4,000+ chemical compounds that include arsenic, ammonia, acetone, formaldehyde, butane, massive doses of carbon monoxide, hydrogen cyanide, methane, stearic acid, vinyl chloride, mercury, and lead, together with 43 known cancer causing agents (one of which is created when nicotine breaks down -NNK), before finally killing you with cancer, a stroke, a heart attack or emphysema? Imagine seeing your executioner as a friend. Such protective denial thinking shows the amazing grip that nicotine imposes upon the mind. 2. I enjoy smoking. This may be the most deeply engrained rationalization of all as it has a solid basis in the following flawed denial logic. "I don't do things that I don't like to do." "I smoke lots and lots of cigarettes." "Therefore, I must really enjoy smoking," instead of the correct conclusion, "therefore; I must really be chemically addicted to smoking nicotine." Did you enjoy being the unaddicted "you" or have you forgotten what it was like to live comfortably inside a mind that does not crave for nicotine? If you cannot remember what it was like being "you" then what basis do you have for honest comparison? If you truly enjoyed being addicted to nicotine then why are you here reading these words? Is it that you liked smoking or that you liked not having to experience what occurred when you didn't smoke - withdrawal? Studies have long ranked nicotine as a more addictive substance than either heroin or cocaine. In fact, cocaine's generally recognized addiction rate among regular users is 15% while nicotine's addiction rate of over 70% is at least five t

You did it once, you can do it again. Might I suggest though that you figure out exactly where you allowed your thinking to go wrong and learn from it so that you do not let history repeat itself ever again. Congrats to you for recommitting yourself to your quit. Fondly, Free [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/12/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 187 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 5,623 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $748 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 15 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 27 [B]Seconds:[/B] 18

Great thread! Thanks for your responses Sunflower and Parrotlady Mr Ed :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/13/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 276 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,294 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �2070 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 46 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 19 [B]Seconds:[/B] 49

Imallclear - I want you to be all clear, you're heading in the right direction by quitting and saying goodbye to ole nic. Some one also said - Don't look back, you're not going there!!!!! You need to know that you are doing this for YOU~ your children will be proud and so will we! We're here to help. As Free stated, find out how you got to that river and what your state of mind was. CHANGE it for good. You know that you can never let your guard down and N.O.P.E. Not One Puff EVER! One leads to TONS..... CobenFan [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 3/25/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 235 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,003 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $822.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 21 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 58 [B]Seconds:[/B] 56