Phillip,
How I wish I had the correct words to say to you to ease your pain, but unfortunately, I do not know what to say. It's hard to stand strong in the midst of trying times, when we are just tired and everything around you whispers to your mind to give in to what you have been fighting to keep all along, simply because your mind is searching for some tranquility. Your mind screams out and you just want it all to go away, but at the same time, you're trying to keep certain things into perspective. What to do?
Dig deep down within yourself, Phillip. Look for that inner strength to re-confirm what you already know about junkie thinking. I know it's hard, sometimes you just simply want to "rest", but keep in mind that that little monster inside will stop at nothing until he gets his way, if given the opportunity. The junkie thoughts knows our weaknessess and will use them to the very end to shake every aspect of our lives, if we allow it. What a deceiver this addiction is.
I hope you are doing better. And yes, it IS a brand new day. Remember, things have a way of working themselves out, and then you realize that, had you have known the end result, you didn't really need to sweat it after all, because it all worked out in the end. Hang tough, my friend.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/17/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 183
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,468
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $686.25
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 20 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 29 [B]Seconds:[/B] 39