I've been avoiding posting, but I feel bad being MIA to the friends and supporters I've gained here. I've had a rough few weeks. I'm running a huge event for the PTA at my kids' school and I'm swamped, my husband was out of town most of last week when I needed him around (and wasn't very sympathetic to my plight, even if we both knew he had no choice in the matter) and it was also my daughter's birthday while he was away.
I had been struggling for a few reasons. My original impetus for quitting was pressure from my husband and a trip I wanted to be free from smokes for. The trip ended up being cancelled, then I have all this pressure and "work" to do (I may not get paid for it and I do actually enjoy it, but there is huge pressure). I was angry and resentful with my husband - not for having to go away, but for his seeming uncaring attitude towards how I was feeling and his lack of interest in what I've been doing. And I also was starting to feel that though I liked being quit, I hadn't done it for the right reasons and out of free will. So I started "forgetting" to take my Chantix and started having slips... which turned into a relapse.
I feel I need to quit for ME, first, in order to succeed for the long haul. I do know now that I prefer to be a non-smoker. And since I went about a month I know I can do it again. I also had a few slips during that time, and I want to do it right, without slips this time. I would get right back on the ship now, but the next 10 days or so will be extremely busy, hectic & stressful and I know I cannot take the time to nurture myself for the quit. I'd rather not set myself up to fail.
BUT in the next few days I plan to start getting the Chantix back into my system with a goal of quitting again by the end of next week. And I am really determined that I will be successful and not give in to cravings this time.
This time I truly want it for me so I can, truly, be FREE.
I WILL be back soon and I WILL succeed. I am sorry for those I've disappointed, but I am still so proud of all you successful quitters and I look forward to being one of you VERY SOON!
- Freemom
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Quit Meter
$120,052.53
Amount Saved
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Quit Meter
Days: 6428
Hours: 18
Minutes: 30
Seconds: 44
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
45604
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
410,436
Cigarettes Not Smoked