Thank you to everyone who responded. I've been extremely busy the last few days and haven't had a chance to come here and thank everybody for their support, but I definitely want to have a chance to do that. You all are so awesome!
My father called me today in a very somber mood. I was expecting the worst, of course, and got a lump in my throat as soon as he said the words "I've got some bad news." I was expecting him to say that my grandfather had passed... instead, he told me that he had to put our dog down. :( I sat there and cried on the phone... and he cried too. I think part of my tears were of relief, which sounds so horrible! I mean, I will miss that dog so terribly and am not happy that he's gone, but at the same time, it's not my grandfather... yet.
As for my grandfather, he was apparently doing better yesterday. He was awake and alert, laughing and telling jokes... but then had a turn for the worse today and is back in intensive care. The dread of waiting for it to happen, the wondering how long we have with him, the constant worry... are worse than the actual death, it seems. It seems like it will be a relief just for it to finally be over, even though that sounds awful! I don't want him to die, but the waiting seems almost as bad, if not worse, than the actual passing!
I'm definitely a wreck, but I will not smoke. Smoking isn't an option in my life and it's not even something that I want to do. I've seen the horrible things it's done and do NOT want to put my family through that. Thanks again to everyone who responded, for the support. I do appreciate it.
Crave the Quit!
Pam
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/28/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 457
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 11,447
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1887.41
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 32 [B]Hrs:[/B] 14 [B]Mins:[/B] 14 [B]Seconds:[/B] 7