Well, I FINALLY have seen what six months of not smoking is like. I LOVE IT!!! I am still in awe that I could actually do it.
Well it started off by me observing people for two years on how they quit, what worked, what didnt, how they felt when they "slipped" etc. I then found this site and observed for a month before I decided to set a quit date. I wanted to do this once and only once. Hell week was just that, hell week. I never want to go through that again and that is what keeps me strong in my quit (and my friends here). I laughed, cried - alot, was always in a "pissy" mood as my kids and hubby would say, gained weight (quite a bit from rewards lol), yelled, hit walls (patched the one up), and tore pillows apart. Was it worth it? Heck yeah!! Would I ever want to do it again, heck NO WAY!!! I had to read over and over my journal of heck and hell week. It is a harsh reminder of what I went through to get where I am now.
For the past month, something changed inside me. I used to come here often and complain about my hubby giving up on his quit, his stinky cig smell, and just smokers in general. There are alot of you here that kindly reminded me that I once was a smoker - be kind in my words to them now. I followed that and life became easier to accept the smokers out there. I've accepted that my quit is mine, and if they choose to smoke, oh well. I can't control them, just myself - oh and by the way, nic doesn't control me anymore. woohoo!!
Today, I woke up excited that I reached the six month mark. I was happy, but deep down I think I realized, why was I celebrating? Well, people that never have smoked dont celebrate. Honestly, I feel like whats the big deal I'm a non smoker. I am at a point where smoking is a foreign thought and something I cant fathom ever doing again. I have finally accepted me as a non smoker!!! I finally accepted life as one too and let me tell you, its more enjoyable if you just hang onto your quit and let it happen. Get rid of the resentment towards smokers. You can smoke - you just now CHOOSE to not smoke. Lady, you told me that once. THANKS. I finally understand what that sentence says. So many of you helped me so I wont even attempt to say thanks to people by name. THANK YOU EVERYONE!!!