Lady, (My Shining Star)
I don't know how I missed this post. I know how you struggled, but through all of your struggles you were and inspiration to me many times. I remember looking for your posts, and trying to analyze your words. Trying to see where you were coming from. I remember the one post about having to leave church and not knowing what to do. I think maybe that was when I realized you were a shining star to all of those who was struggling in their quits. By posting you were letting them know that they were not alone. And that it is not always easy for everyone.
I can imagine your anger when someone would suggest you get professional help, and just maybe you could be depressed. I know that my situation was different, I was dealing with grief and loss, and I became angry when my family would suggest that I was depressed and needed counseling. Well when I couldn't say no to my family anymore, I did it just to get them off my back. I'm so thankful that I did go to the Dr and when he said I was deeply depressed and needed medication and counseling. It felt different coming from a Dr, first I went to the one on one counseling and then to group therapy. Lady, after 6 weeks of therapy I began to open up and let the real Carol out. Some of it was not very pretty, but I began to build on the positive things in my life, there was lots of confession times.
One of the counselors said, you have so much to deal with maybe you should consider give up trying to quit smoking. I told her that wasn't an option. So as the days, weeks, and months passed by I become stronger and began to deal with one thing at a time. I was trying to deal with all of them at one time. My brain stayed so cluttered that I couldn't finish anything. One of my biggest hang-ups was I felt guilty that I couldn't fix it myself. Because I had always been able to before. But my situation was not the same as before. As you know I lost a son, grandson, husband, and sister. All of them in a short period of time. I was numb and didn't know it. I wasn't capable of making a decision.
Lady, I know this is not you, but when it comes to depression and not knowing what to do, we are all the same. We don't understand why we can't control our feelings or emotions.
I hav
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Quit Meter
$231,224.63
Amount Saved
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Quit Meter
Days: 6766
Hours: 13
Minutes: 2
Seconds: 28
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
45674
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
685,110
Cigarettes Not Smoked