Penguin,
Quitting is no easy task. You know that. You also know that it doesn't change anything and it doesn't help. But sometimes, we just have to "test it" for ourselves in order to realize how much we really, truly want to quit smoking.
I know there are many people here who quit once and only once, and I commend them, although I am most certainly not one of them. I too had to learn the hard way over and over and over again until I was ready to say goodbye forever. I think that's what you're doing here Penguin. I think that you are learning to say goodbye, one trigger (or even a hundred triggers) at a time... but sometimes, there's that one trigger that you just "can't" say no to yet. You will. Mine was drinking with friends. I know it's easy to say that that's not as hard of a trigger to get through than something catestrophic, but for me, it was. Now, I don't have a problem with it... but a year and a half ago (and even as recently as a few months ago) I struggled to get through it. And you will learn how too. I know you will. Just believe in yourself.
Tough situations will happen whether we smoke or not and I know from experience that the more we go through them smoke free, the easier the next tough situation will be to get through. I have no doubt that you will make it... when your time comes.
Crave the Quit!
Pam
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 6/17/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 660
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 16,524
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2725.8
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 47 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 9 [B]Seconds:[/B] 13