No, I had not quit the NRT yet. I had just stepped down from 4 mg to 2 mg and was weaning off that when this hit. This is not someone I had not seen in many years. All of our lives, married or not married, since neither one of us had any family at all, we were pretty much all we had. The three of us, since we only had one child. Think of it like this - 1/3 of your entire family was just wiped out. Whatever happened, we always could count on one another because there was no one else.
I still have not smoked, I am truly struggling through this and no I am not at all happy about using NRT as the same kind of crutch that I used cigs for. I can't help it. If I could sit down and just deal with these issues, go to bed until it passes, do something, anything else I would. I came back from seeing someone very close to me wrapped up like a mummy in white plastic and thrown into the back of a panel van like the so much junk. The cornoner was in a hurry because she had six more bodies to pick up, wrap in white plastic and then stack up the same way. On top of one another in a white panel van. I came back from that, and immediately went to work on living animals that jump, squeal, twitch and cower down, until ten o'clock at night. This morning I have a full slate and I know that no matter how I feel I must get through this.
I do not believe I am going to have a cigarette. If I have to use something else then I have to and move on from that point, rather than smoke go all the way back and try to move on from square one.
That's my decision, rationally and logically.
I may be wrong. I am probably most certainly wrong, but I will not smoke.