I just hate quitting
I haven�t smoked going on sixteen months now it is surprising to me that I finally don�t smoke anymore. I am lucky as I smoked for thirty years without a pause. Remembering over the years dozens and dozens of times I would say �this is my last one� or tomorrow will be the day. Well there never was a last one and tomorrow never came. That is why I am amazed at where I am. How did I do it this time? It was just my time, I guess, finally my time and I broke away. Wow, I broke away. And since quitting was a new experiencing to me, I really never knew what I would feel like from day to day, week to week or month to month. I am in the month to month count now and year to year is going to be my next discovery and I see that this is nearby.
At sixteen months I can also see how people could fall back into smoking. However I wonder why anyone would let themselves fall back into the trap. After all when you have found the control and tamed the desired, what would be the point? I look at the quit as kind of like going through school, we learn more each day and one day we graduate. If you lose your self-control then it is back to grade one.
I see all these meters running and gaining momentum and behind each meter is an individual driving that meter with all the will and gusto they can mustard up. From an experiences quitter�s viewpoint, I have to tell you, if you can get through a week you can have the whole pie. And what does that pie taste like? What is your favorite kind of pie?
Keep digging deep and saying �No go away, I do not need you nor want you�. There is nothing in this for me except heartache, feelings of despair, and trying to do it all over again. I just hate quitting and I would be foolish to put myself through this all over again. One day, yes one day, you won�t be reaching for that smoke, your triggers will all have gone away and then there was you. You standing there looking proud and happy as could be. Awe, you gleam, a non smoker, yes that would be me.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/22/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 474
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 8,540
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $2607
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 88 [B]Hrs:[/B] 3 [B]Mins:[/B] 29 [B]Seconds:[/B] 25