How very kind of you Grace.
Anger is a hard one to deal with. It really is just a matter of getting a different perspective and just practicing new coping skills until they become second nature. I also found that if we make people around us aware of our goals and ask them to help hold us accountable ... that helps as well. I don't mean to simplify the process, it does take work ... but it can be done.
I posted in another anger thread today I think. It is in one of the craving or withdrawal forums I think. There was a lot of good advice/great tips for coping in that thread as well.
When we treat people good, it makes us feel good about ourselves. When we blow up on people, it makes us feel guilty which then perpetuates our unhealthy cycle.
[IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a17/Daniwiz/8489yks8pjr5p4.gif[/IMG]
Congrats on making it through Hell and Heck Week Grace. Those first two weeks are the hardest ... and you've made it.
[IMG]http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a17/Daniwiz/congrats10586.gif[/IMG]
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/12/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 102
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,083
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $408
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 8 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 29 [B]Seconds:[/B] 59
I've been doing much better. Husband has been acting more respectful. I think he is holding it in rather than doing anything about it to learn different behavior to actually SOLVE the problem. If he is still stuffing, he will explode eventually. Knowing this bothers me, but I can't worry about something that has not happened yet. I just wish he'd learn new behavior skills so that this does not continue to effect our marriage. It saddens me.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/12/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 83
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,505
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $332
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 36 [B]Seconds:[/B] 2
1. Don't yell, it only makes it worse.
2. Deep breathing.
3. Exercise when emotion is at the highest level. (most irrational)
4. Restrain yourself from saying things you don't mean.
I don't know ... ugh! I need help.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/12/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 83
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,518
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $332
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 1 [B]Mins:[/B] 27 [B]Seconds:[/B] 35
I have to remember that when I am upset.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/12/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 84
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,535
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $336
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 39 [B]Seconds:[/B] 51
I think during the 50+ day mark was when I was really in the throws of figuring out all these full on emotional feelings and how to deal with them. I didn't let myself associate the feelings with smoking. I made myself aware that coping with emotions was a skill I had to acquire and that by doing so it would aid me in my quit. So I got busy acquiring some new and improved coping skills. Now at almost 100 days I'm waiting to see what my next challenge is going to be. If anyone wants to give me a heads up that will be cool. lol
btw ... Marie & Hurstk ... you guys are doing great. You are both inspirations and not just to the quitters following you, but also to the ones ahead of you.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/12/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 94
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,820
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $376
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 49 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17
I'm doing much better at dealing with my emotions. Better than I ever did when I smoked. I never thought I'd say that! LOL!
For me the trick was going back over what defines me and then redefining my personal boundaries. Then I let the people in my life in on what was going on with me personally and emotionally.
I got rid of some relationships, gain new relationships, had hardships in some, and some were strengthened. And other relationships experienced a combination of those things.
I'm feeling good. There is nothing like going through a hard time and still feeling good. It's truly a great feeling.
Too blessed to be stressed.
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/12/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 93
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,819
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $372
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 21 [B]Mins:[/B] 43 [B]Seconds:[/B] 39
Hey BF,
:) ((hug))
Try this? When you are undecided about a serious issue ask your self (your beautiful, giving, loving self) "What advice would I give my best friend/sister/daughter if she was in exactly this situation?"
Write it down - the situation and your advice to your loved one.
Do you think that the advice is applicable to you? If not, why not?
Sometimes taking an emotional step back from an emotional situation helps to clear the mind about possible solution pathways.
x
Alison :)
Kick the Herb to the Kerb
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/16/2006
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 80
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,413
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1000
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 11 [B]Hrs:[/B] 9 [B]Mins:[/B] 34 [B]Seconds:[/B] 16
Breaking Free,
We look forward to hearing from your husband and we hope we can be of help!
Welcome to the SSC!
Danielle
_______________________
The SSC Support Team
Members,
Let's help Breaking Free, her husband and other members struggling with this problem.
What coping mechanisms have you learnt throughout your quit that help you deal with stress and anger?
Thank you in advance for your replies.
Danielle
________________________
The SSC Support Team
Come on members! Keep helping Breaking Free and other members add to their list of coping skills. You've already given such great suggestions!
Danielle
_____________________
The SSC Support Team
