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Self-Trust?

for 20 år siden 0 +0 / -0 21

It's weird. I have this undying belief in myself and what I know I'm capable of, but I don't trust that same person one bit. A huge part of me feels so strongly that I'll come out of this, but there's another part of me that convinces me that there's no hope. Talk about feeling conflicted! This disease plays games with you. I think we've all been burnt so many times by trusting ourselves that we start to believe it's out of our hands. I've been misdiagnosed so many times. I know I don't trust doctors or therapists. I just think we're afraid to trust ourselves. If we did, maybe we'd beat this thing. The scary part is that I'm sitting here typing this and telling myself that today is going to be a good day. I'm going to begin trusting myself. At the same time I'm scared to death and my stomach is killing me. Here we go again...:(

for 20 år siden 0 +0 / -0 13

Thank you Corrina! I want to get to the bottom of all of this so that I can live out the rest of my life with some dignity and joy! There is a great forum in the net called The Survivor's Forum about abuse issues - great site for those of you who may be interested! Be gentle with ourselves!

for 20 år siden 0 +0 / -0 18

Ronny, You are very brave to delve into the past as you are. That takes more guts that most people realize. Congrats & best of luck!

for 20 år siden 0 +0 / -0 13

Hi everyone! Well, its been several months since I posted and things have happened.....my anxiety attacks stem from childhood abuse - I am miss firing in my brain, so that when there is some kind of trigger that I feel relating to the abuse, I go from trigger to panic immediately without the rationalization process that most "normal" people go through. So, I am working on the abuse issues and have not had an anxiety attack since August 7th. Valium has helped a great deal (1.4 mgs 3x p/day) with the assistance of Buspar(15mgs 3x p/day). I am reading many books and working on recovering my supressed memories of the abuse wich took place (my memory tells me) when I was 4, 5 or 6 years old. Friends, books are wonderful tools in healing......

for 20 år siden 0 +0 / -0 28

Tony and all are right! Courage is not our strong point. Unfortunately we let failure discourage us so much that we wait for confidence to come back on its on accord. Its best to not wait to long for confidence to return. confidence is belt on action. It is regained only when you begin to do the things you think you can not do. Even if the beginning is so small that you can hardly see it as the beginnig, it is still action. I think we need to give ourselves more credit when we no longer let a strange feeling still our courage, by keep on going on anyway. Especial after we've been checked out by our doctors and given a clean bill of health or a OK! Just giving my two cents worth, thanks

for 20 år siden 0 +0 / -0 13

tony75 im not sure if you still post on this site, but your posting about not-trusting ourselves says it all.You hit the nail on the head, as I can so relate . Just wanted you know I also got a good laugh , because we can take such a little thing and make such a big dealout of it, you would have to have anxiety to understand. If we can trust ourselves we are cured. Please feel free to write.

for 20 år siden 0 +0 / -0 13

How delightful to find other people who have the same "disorder" as I - it's true, we do ourselves no favors by thinking!!!! However, it is not a simple task to wipe out those fearful thoughts - I have often wondered why, when I know intellectually, that these fears will probably not realize themselves, does my emotional self not understand this??? And I don't know about you, but mine just simply take on a life of their own and destroy my relationships. Will be starting with a pdoc in a week or so...probably some deeper issues to explore - Boy, did that writer who expressed loss of self confidence have it right! What a vicious cycle it seems to be, one feeding on the other!! It really helps to find you all out there though and thanks for reading my post!!

for 20 år siden 0 +0 / -0 274

As for star trek, I think I'm more like bones...emotional all the way, and can't use my cognitive thinking ability very well, and therefore, my emotions lead the way and I can't think straight and I panic. My husband is more balanced; he is not a vulcan, or bones, but just about in the middle. He can use his cognitive thinking ability much better than I can, because his thinking is just a little stronger than his feeling, therefore, he is more of a vulcan than I am, but I am the one with the panic...

for 20 år siden 0 +0 / -0 10

i trust myself it's other people i am afraid of

for 20 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3

Tony and Lauralai, Thank-you so much! Everything you've said is so true and yet so hard to believe when you feel anxious. Your words are worth more than anything that could ever come out of a therapists mouth or prescription pad. Everytime I feel down I'll re-read your posts.

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Self-Trust?