H-e-e-eigh Mr. Ed! It doesn't take much to make the hens cackle on the farm. At least not this one:) Glad you stopped by.
Thanks to all of you for the support and encouragement. Alohakeia, I'll try to share a bit in case it helps anyone...
So far so good today! It's a little tough, but I'm very thankful that I didn't wait any longer to get back to my quit. It's frightening how fast my body swung back into smoke-mode even though I didn't smoke nearly as many as I used to. I could see how that could happen though... It was also scary to realize that I can't get a full breath again sometimes because of them. It's a panicky feeling. The cough and clearing my throat came back a little bit. When I smoked outdoors alone I noticed that I immediately went into "thoughtful mode" - where I'd light up, relax, and reflect or think deeply about something I was working on. I wondered if the cigarette was really satisfying me...
Well, I learned that cigarettes are NOT satisfying. They hurt my lungs, poison my body, trick me into wanting more, keep me away from my family, steal my time, hurt my self esteem, and prevent me from being able to enjoy exercise.
Today I woke up a little groggy (Chantix does that to me) but put on my walking shoes and took the dog for an hour long walk before the sun got too intense (102 today!) As I walked, I thought about how I could think more positive about my quit this time around. I've been too negative and rebellious in my self talk. I decided to just give myself permission to stop smoking and to feel joy about leaving cigarettes behind:)
This is quite a process for me, but I have great hope that I will succeed at quitting forever. I had doubts before, but that doubt is fading as experience, truth and acceptance push it aside.
Joyful, you can do it too. It starts one day at a time - and hey, I'm choosing to go to bed without one tonight:) Try it for one night, and then another...:) I wouldn't have even posted this topic if it weren't for you. I learned from reading your posts about slipping and the responses. I felt much the same, so am trying an attitude adjustment.
Sparky, thanks for sharing your relapse and puff stories with me. Makes me feel more normal about my own struggle... I guess it's kind of like learning to ride a bike. Takes a few tries. I sure hope someday I won't ever have to worry about fighting myself over this stuff anymore. Now, I'm feeling pretty determined and committed, and I promise to lean on you all when I need help.
Thanks for everything buddies:)
good night,
mamakitty
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B]8/14/2007
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 0
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0.00
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 22 [B]Seconds:[/B] 22