I don't understand it, 2 weeks ago my son left for bootcamp, as most of you know I was a mess. Last week the tax folks decide to crash my party, over the weekend, my youngest son tried to OD on pills, and I'm still not smoking. I have been avoiding posting on this site for 5 days, and I know why. I feel like I'm falling, and decided I didn't care, and I didn't want anyones support. But driving to the hospital at 3 am Saturday morning, my very first thought was stop and get smokes. My very 2nd thought was do you really want to walk outside every 20 minutes to the smoking area and ruin your quit?? I stopped, and got gum. I'm not sure how I have done it, I don't know where the strength is coming from, because in my head, I don't care, in my mind I could care less. But something inside of me won't let me fall, something inside is telling me your already quit, you no longer have to fight this because you have won. I'm not sure where I'm at right now on the wagon, part of me says screw it, there is too much going on in my life, the other part says deal with it, you don't need to smoke, because your a non-smoker. I am really confused right now. And I think avoiding this site is dangerous for me right now, so this is why I'm posting this.
My Mileage
Smoke-Free Days: 88
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 4,238
Amount Saved: $844.80
Life Gained:
Days: 12 Hrs: 19 Mins: 10 Seconds: 11
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Quit Meter
$38,554.43
Amount Saved
-
Quit Meter
Days: 1014
Hours: 1
Minutes: 40
Seconds: 29
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
5649
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
169,470
Cigarettes Not Smoked
