Things are good. I am just battling with thoughts in my head about my relationship. I know I can handle it, but it gets hard sometimes not being together as much as I'd like. But that can happen eventually. David

Hi Wrestler, Thank you, I will let you know how I go tommorrow. How is everything with you? Ruby.......

Yes, I feel I have improved in a major way. I was very reserved when I first went nearly ten years ago. I still have hangups, but I know I have really gained in many areas. Good luck with your progress when you see the Phsycologist. David

Hi Wrestler, I would like to ask you question. I am wondering if you feel you have improved by seeing a pshcologist. I have an appoinment to see one this Wednesday,This will be my first visit so I'm a little bit nervous. Ruby...........

Hi Wrestler, I think what your feeling has alot to do with losing your Mum at such a young age. I can't imagine the pain you have suffered from losing her. Even though I don't know you personally, I am truly sorry for your loss. Ruby.....

Just some more notes on this subject. Does anyone ever get insecure? I hate it. My girlfriend can say something that is totally harmless and I take it as something bad and then I have trouble letting go of it. Tonight, we were on instant messenger and we were talking and she said, "not that I want to break up, but I have a feeling if it happened, it'd be harder with you than other ones before." In restrospect, it was completely harmless and she actually meant it as a compliment on our relationship. But I just saw it wrong at first and needed to be reassured. But the phrase, "breakup" always freaks me out. Anyone else ever feel like this? We have agreed that we should not use instant messenger anymore or at least not talk about stuff that may offend the other. Last week, I said something on the instant messenger and it really felt bad after I said it. This is all part of my initial post about separation anxiety because part of separation anxiety is being afraid of the separation before it happens. Anyone care to add? David

Ruby and the rest, I have been seeing a pshycologist for many years. Sometimes I see her more than other times depending on my need. I was on prozac for about ten years, but finally got off it in 2003 and have been off since then. I only am on a form of amytripulin now. That's one of the older and more effective anti anxiety/anti depressants. My pshyocoligts prescribes no drugs. I get them from my M.D. I think it's great you'll be seeing someone. My separation anxiety is based on fear of loss. I'vd had loss in my life and it's like I think sometimes when I get close to someone they are just going to leave. It's happened, but then I realized I did not love those who did that. My mother's loss was thte toughest. Losing a mother at ten years of age is very hard, as it is at 14 and 19, which is how old my brother and sister were. Loss is always hard and I need to learn to deal with the fear of loss. I have let myself get close to this woman and she is experiencing some of the sames things as myself. I have just not felt like this about another human being in so many years and maybe never this strong, and that includes my marriage, which last 4 years, but should have ended in about 2. Good luck with the Dr. visit. David

when times get rough i want my parents i am 28 and wanting my mommy.i tould my mom i want to be home and be a kid.isnt that werid?wrestle i wish you luck! gina

Hi nopicnik, I have only just started seeing a new doctor, she has referred me to a physiologist(I think that's how you spell it) I see her next Wednesday. I asked my doctor had she heard or seen other patients that had the same symtoms as mine as in That person has to have someone with them all the time and go with them all the time, like me. She said that there was, and that with seeing her so she can check my progress, plus seeing the physiolgist and me also working on it, she can't see why I wouldn't be able to go back to were I was, able to do things on my own and go places on my own again. I can't count how many times I've cried in the last three years, knowing that I have to rely on someone to be with me and go everywhere with me. I've tried to go to my local shop which is only around the block and I can't do it, I have to have my boyfriend come with me. People say to me If anything happened to your boyfriend what would you do, and to be honest I would be ****ed, excuse my language. I would probably end up in hospital myself. I think the worst mistake I made in the last three years is not seeking proper help. I have just carried on by doing the things I always do by doing housework,washing,looking after my children,cooking,and everything else that a house mum does, and in the process of doing this I was neglecting my health. You know in the last three years I have avoided alot of things because of my anxiety, because I hate the feelings you get when you have one, and now because I have avoided things for so long it has made my anxiety worse. I simply don't do things that I know that will cause me to have an attack. And I have learn't that by doing this, it's the worst mistake anybody can make when they suffer with anxiety because the more you avoid the worse it gets, and I know this is true because I'am going through it. I know it's going to take time now for me to get better but I don't care, because each step I make thats a step I never took before. And I'm willing to make as many steps I have to make to get better. Thanks for reading, Ruby... ;) I will let you know how my first visit went to the phsiologist.

David It is quite apparent to me that you are very much in love with this girl. Also, good for you for being able to do this with your past of bad relationships. Many people would clam up and refuse to care for anyone. But not you. Good for you. Happy Easter!!! Lauren