Okay, so I just logged off and was going to call it a night (after one of the worst days of my life), but had to come back on to do two things, neither of which I want to do. First, I confess that I blew my quit. But that said, I'm still here with some fantastic insights from other people. Breather just posted a thing about not unleashing the addiction. PERFECT language. Me, I needed to relieve a little pressure, the addiction was pushing SO hard against the gate. You'd think after a gazillion quits, I'd know better. Maybe this time.
You CAN'T release "a little pressure." He/she/it is either behind bars or loose. There's no wiggle room. It's in or out. We gotta keep him in at all costs.
The other thing Breather said not long ago in response to someone who was jealous (in a good way, I'm sure) of his and someone else's longevity was that he was no better than anyone else and had, essentially, the same stats of most of us on a given day: one (more) day smoke-free. Like any addiction, it's one day at a time.
That leads me to the second thing. There's a thread talking about an old club that (because of typos) goes by a couple of different names, having to do with one's rear end. It sounds like a hoot, but also in that thread was a gem of an idea from Tresa, who talked about doing it one day at a time, which made me think of won day at a time.
I'm perfectly happy to reset my meager (oops, we're in Canada, eh, I meant meagre) quit meter to Day Zero and pledge with Breather to keep that cursed gate SHUT at all times no matter what, and NEVER unleash the addiction again, ever, under any circumstances, knowing that you can't "release a little pressure." I'd also like to see if there is any interest in celebrating the "Won a Day" victories, where for one crummy little day, we actuallty won. That might be enough for us, for now.
Any interest in joining me in celebrating Won day at a time? I accept the embarrassment of going back to Day Zero because Breather was like, "We're all in one day at a time mode here." Sorry if I'm misquoting him, but that's what I remember of his post. Me, I'm in, even in the midst of failure and on the cusp of a stressful weekend. I could wait until Monday (like I did that last time, wimp that I am), but now I'm all about locking the gate the good and celebrating the daily wins.
Anybody in with me?
pete
(Haven't reset metre yet; will do it tomorrow.)
My Mileage:My Quit Date: 9/13/2010
Smoke-Free Days: 3
Cigarettes Not Smoked: 150
Amount Saved: $42.38
Life Gained:Days: 0
Hrs: 17
Mins: 36
Seconds: 4