Thank you eya, it's nice to know my struggle is helping others with thier own, keep it up, it does get way way way better. Thanks Tim, yes we've come a long way, proud of you too!! Ashley, yes I still have Brutus, he is like no other dog I've ever had. He bit right through my thumb nail a few months ago while we were playing ball. He though he had the ball, well, he did have the ball, but my thumb was in there too! He is something else, he sleeps in the bed with us now, and he always has to have his rear end facing me. I woke one morning cuddling his butt!! He is a stinker..literally!! He at around 85lbs now, he is pretty beefy.
As far a what kept me going through all the hard times, I think a lot of different variables came into play. Loved ones, health, money. I had tried before 7 or 8 times with in a 3 year period. So it was something I knew I had to do, and it was something I knew deep inside I wanted to do. You just have to trust others when they say it gets easier, because let me tell you, I can drink a beer now with no problem, I drink coffee every day with no problem, I can eat and afterwards, no problem, I don't even think of it anymore. Life is back to what it was when I was 14. I can taste, I can breathe, I smell for the most part ok.....its not even an after thought anymore. Its just gone. It can be like this for everyone trying to quit if they just let it happen and have faith that it will happen, I think that was my biggest fear, is the rest of my life going to be like this...WANTING!!! Well, I can tell you now that the answer is NO!! It goes away, or anyone who ever read any of my ramblings knows....the junkie inside will die!
Keep fighting the good fight
