Thanks so much you guys! It's been a twisty day, and I needed to write because I had what was probably my most intense craving day so far.
Around 2pm today, I started getting these horrible pains in my right stomach, and also started getting really nauseous. And just feeling unwell in general. Couldn't get into the doctor until 4pm, and was also expecting about 20 people over tonight for the beginning of Monday night football (of which I watch none, but the wives and I have fun together).
Long story short. I was pretty ill by the time I reached my doctor's. I was scared, and mostly worried about my appendix. Turns out that's fine (thank God!). No hospital or surgery. He thinks it gallstones (fun!), and I have to go get an ultrasound on Thursday-- might be an ulcer. Don't know. So was pretty stressed.
I came home and carried on as usual. Cooked, had 3 glasses of wine with everyone even though I shouldn't have. I did have fun though even though I was still in pain. But after everyone left about a half hour ago, I wanted a cigarette in the worst possible way.
So I'm writing instead. The craving is already starting to pass, and writing seemed like the best possible alternative to smoking. It's been a stressful day, but I also had fun. I'm also tired from it all. That's what I meant when I wrote that it's been a twisty day. I'm hoping that I'll get a good night's sleep and start fresh tomorrow. Hopefully I'll feel a little better in the tummy.
I think the best thing to do beyond writing, is to go lie down and breathe. Maybe play a word game on my phone. That always seems to help me place my mind on other things.
Thanks for listening, and hanging in there with me..... marching on to 1 month.
Deb
Eyja
