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many forms of love

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 375

It was my dad's birthday today. I called and he was confused. He is sometimes lately. I asked his girlfriend to remind him later today that I called. He only lives a half hour away, but I have a cold and don't want to expose him to anything that would comprimise his lungs.

I've been thinking a lot about what you said Duffis. I've had cravings, but the desire to smoke, compared to the desire to not smoke is different. Before the desire won. Now I really don't want to. So I have the feelings, but the thought to smoke comes and I can't even think about it. It now seems so wrong.

With my dad being so sick, I've had so many memories of being little. Some of my favorite memories is sitting on the front steps eating watermellon with my dad, hiking up in the moutains, camping together because no one else in our family liked it but us..... many more actually. But in none of my memories I smoked.

We are born, and are little kids, and I hope for most of us, we were happy and played. We didn't need cigarettes then. We ran, jumped, drove our parents crazy, explored, got hurt and scared them...... life seemed infinate. But it's not. I don't know what personally turned the rest of you to try smoking. I know my own story.

But it's not what's in our natural nature. It's helped a lot connecting to who I was when I was young.

These are my thoughts tonight.

Deb

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 375

love you Dave. Thanks for writing.

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 375

Thank you Aloha... you continue to be an amazing inspiration.

Duffis, I can only imagine what you are going through.... every day, and every night. Your post meant so much. Unless you see and experience it with a loved one, you can't imagine. I've seen the scary video's, and even lost close family friends of my mother and father's to ephysema, and COPD, but we didn't live in their homes. We only saw their family's grief. Now I know. I really know.

I'm with you. I'm grateful for your response and being with me.

deb

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 639

Love and prayers to your father and to you, Deb.

There is a special bond between a father and his daughter. Embrace the moment and feel the love.

Always here when you need a shoulder.....

Keep the Quit,

Dave

Quit Meter

$52,596.68

Amount Saved
Quit Meter

Days: 1215 Hours: 4

Minutes: 27 Seconds: 22

Life Gained
Quit Meter

5815

Smoke Free Days
Quit Meter

174,450

Cigarettes Not Smoked

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 12049

cv,

Our thoughts are with you. Thank you for you peaceful and honest story. It will help many and it will make an impact. You are going to make.

We are here for you,

Stay strong,

Josie, Health Educator

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1095

Dear Deb:

There is a time and a season for everything. I have watched you from your beginning here at the SSC and can understand the pain and grief you have suffered trying to quit. Many sage quitters here have always stated that when the desire to quit out weighs the desire to smoke you will indeed quit.

I personally hurt reading your post as I have lost too many friends with similar conditions and now face losing my wife to COPD caused by smoking. My thoughts and prayers go forward for you and hope that your father has many good days left to enjoy his wonderful daughter.

Kindest regards

Duffis

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 3207

There you go, deb...do it out of love..for whoever matters to you. Hope this quit sticks so your kids dont have to go through the same thing you're going through. I hope your time with your dad continues to be sweet.

-aloha

for 13 år siden 0 +0 / -0 375

Hey everyone,

I haven't been here in awhile because I blew it again. So I'm not going to go into that too much, but more into what I've learned.

My dad was diagnosed with emphyasma, diabetes, congestive heart failure, and ailing kidneys. He developed pneumonia, and has been in the hospital for two weeks. I sleep there at night and we pretend that we are on a camping trip just like we used to have when I was little. We play chess, I rub his back when he's in pain, I make sure the nurses respond when he has to go to the bathroom. I go to work in the morning and come back. I can't sleep at night because his breathing is so labored. I can't believe the sound of lungs so filled with mucus and the sound of coughing that will never be still.

My dad is the greatest person ever. He was the strongest person ever. Super tough, super sweet, and beloved by most everyone in our community. He made me promise that on the day he was released from the hospital, that I would never touch a cigarette again. I've kept that promise.

This time, I don't feel like moaning about how hard it is. I'm not complaining at all. I've been cigarette free for 4 days, and it feels like the most natural thing in the world. Everything's changed.

For the love of my dad, for the love of my son, and for the love of myself, this quit feels different. It just is. I have no complaints. There is nothing to complain about when you see the devistating effects in your life with someone you love.

Dad is still here, but now on oxygen.

Love your family, and love yourself-- quit.

Deb

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many forms of love