I know it has been a good long while. Still recognize many of the names, and I'm happy that many of you are still doing well. I'm still smoke free. Hey! To the newcomers: Hang in there. It really does get easy. I'm looking forward to celebrating 5 years in a few months, and then 7 years, 10 years, 12 years, 15. I smoked one pack a day for 31 years. And I had to just keep trying until it took. I did use nicotine and regular sugar-free gum. 

Last I logged in, I think I said that I started a personal training business. Well, I did. It's sort of on hold, at the moment. I also developed congestive heart failure, high output cardiac failure, I'm told. Meaning that it has an extrinsic cause. My heart muscle is not actually damaged. Whew! I have what's called Sick Sinus Syndrome -- a collection of arrhythmias. I'm wearing an event monitor right now, because the insurance company demands that the symptoms align with the arrhythmias before they will pay for a pacemaker. I was told that is the treatment of choice along with cardiac ablation for the fast rhythms, possibly medications. 

I'm not freaked out anymore. I'll deal with whatever happens. Sick Sinus Syndrome rarely causes cardiac arrest. It kills slowly by causing organ failure or blood clots. It keeps the heart from pumping enough blood to the organs, so I'll end up with a pacemaker sooner or later. However, women I'll tell you this, Don't just assume the menopause is causing any large water retention problems that you have. I nearly tried to wait "menopause" out. Cigna, my insurance company actually caught it when I was on the phone explaining to them why I kept going to the dentist and had been to the emergency room a few times within a few months. Cigna sent nurse practitioner to my apartment to give me a physical. She sent a report to my doctor and let me know that it was doubtful that my symptoms were related to menopause. 

The big thing for me is that I didn't cause this. My behavior is not responsible for the cause. If it were, I'd deal with that, too, but I don't have to. Smoking did not play a role. When smoking causes heart failure, it does so by causing plaque to build up in valves and arteries, etc. I have a little plaque on one artery. Having been obese did not either. It too would have caused plaque build up. I have low cholesterol and very low blood pressure. The low blood pressure is likely part of the problem. It's likely low because of a bradyarrhythmia, a slow arrhythmia. I also have a history of taking medications to treat bipolar disorder. Some of them are most likely the culprits, along with a family history of heart problems, which we were never really aware of.  

So life happens. I will likely survive heart failure. I think I'll get a t-shirt made when the crises is over. Good luck to you!