Hello Caitlin, How are you doing? Are you continuing taking the herbs/vitamins you mentioned before and if so you are noticing at difference? How is the rest of your summer going? There have been so many storms and tornadoes this summer. We experienced one first hand, earlier this summer I was at my in-laws cottage where we had gone for a walk on a long trail. The weather drastically changed from hot to cold, the wind picked up tremendously, it started raining, lighting, hailing, the sand was swirling and trees were breaking onto the path. We went from walking to running (with our kids and in-laws). There were no nearby cottages; the only option was to continue down the path. The adults were screaming and the kids were crying. Eventually we got to safety unharmed. I can honestly say Ive never been so physically scared in my life. Needless to say our kids are slightly psychological damaged from the whole event. My son (who takes after my personality) is still quite upset and from what I told my psychologist, he suggested he might be experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Yes, Ive seen the ADAM website, there seems to be a lot of solid resources on it. You mention you were interested what books that Ive read and found helpful (all are at the Winnipeg Public Library, also which you go to the website and hold them at your nearest location): Coping With Anxiety: Ten Simple Ways to Relieve Anxiety, Fear, and Worry By Edmund Bourne Healing Fear: New Approaches to Overcoming Anxiety By Edmund Bourne Living with Fear: Understanding and Coping with Anxiety By Isaac Marks. Another book that looks really interesting but I have yet to read is Phantom Illness: Shattering the Myth of Hypochondria by Carla Cantor. Well, thats all for now, hope you are doing well. Hope to hear from you soon. Take care :)

This has been a fantastic summer - minus all the major storms which I used to love but which now cause me anxiety (interesting that you mentioned tornadoes in one of your earlier posts - I have a lifelong fascination with tornadoes and have had a recurring dream since childhood about a tornado). My kids and I live outdoors in the summer, and this year we planted a small vegetable garden in our backyard. Anyhow, my neck still causes me a fair bit of pain but I saw my doctor again about it and he assured me it was muscular. He also said that deep tissue massage can do more harm than good in some cases (in terms of causing pain) so stick to relaxation massage. I still have anxiety about my neck, and the whole left side of my upper body, but I am trying to let it go and move on!! I haven't signed up/downloaded the cbt buddies yet but I will try to get that done this weekend. We definitely should chat!! I had a lot of problems with the new site - my registration was lost and I had to re-register, and the first time I tried the cbt buddies download it didn't work, but I'll try again. I'll let you know as soon as I get it working!! I would also love that list of books you referred to once - I saw a post of yours that had some health related books but I think you also mentioned some anxiety related books too? I just received Hope and Help for your Nerves by Dr Claire Weekes in cassette form, so I can listen to it in the car while I'm driving (which is where many of my panic attacks happen). Are you going out to the lake anytime soon? I didn't know about that driving prohibition at Victoria, but that wouldn't be a big deal for us. We've been keeping our eyes on the market, but there are very few cottages up for sale right now. We'll have to wait and see. Have you been on the ADAM (Anxiety Disorders Association of Manitoba) yet? I found it very helpful. Talk to you soon, take care. Caitlin

How is your neck pain?

Hi! Sorry for the long delay, I just discovered this under new title. That's great that you have been able to share with some friends. I am not quite at the point. I'm always the calm, level headed, in control, not emotional person. (YES, I KNOW THAT MUST BE EXTREMELY HARD TO BELIEVE, MY POSTS ARE EVERYTHING I'VE NEVER BE ABLE TO SAY OUTLOUD). ;) That's how everyone knows me, and I don't know if I want them to know me any other way. Hey I obviously have some serious 'control of the universe' problems! Well, I hope you're doing well, take care. p.s. What a relief that we're actually having a summer this year, I keep waiting for it to turn like last year!

have you signed up for the buddy messager?

Hi! Sorry for the long delay, I just discovered this under new title. That's great that you have been able to share with some friends. I am not quite at the point. I'm always the calm, level headed, in control, not emotional person. (YES, I KNOW THAT MUST BE EXTREMELY HARD TO BELIEVE, MY POSTS ARE EVERYTHING I'VE NEVER BE ABLE TO SAY OUTLOUD). ;) That's how everyone knows me, and I don't know if I want them to know me any other way. Hey I obviously have some serious 'control of the universe' problems! Well, I hope you're doing well, take care. p.s. What a relief that we're actually having a summer this year, I keep waiting for it to turn like last year!

Hi! Sorry for the long delay, I just discovered this under new title. That's great that you have been able to share with some friends. I am not quite at the point. I'm always the calm, level headed, in control, not emotional person. (YES, I KNOW THAT MUST BE EXTREMELY HARD TO BELIEVE, MY POSTS ARE EVERYTHING I'VE NEVER BE ABLE TO SAY OUTLOUD). ;) That's how everyone knows me, and I don't know if I want them to know me any other way. Hey I obviously have some serious 'control of the universe' problems! Well, I hope you're doing well, take care. p.s. What a relief that we're actually having a summer this year, I keep waiting for it to turn like last year!

Hi Alison - it's neat that we're so close in age and proximity!! I have to say though - I do miss being in my 20's more than I expected, but I'm getting used to it!! Right now we don't have a cottage but instead travel to various lakes over the summer. Often we stay at my sister-in-law's seasonal ginormous trailer at Steep Rock in the Interlake, or we travel with friends to St. Malo, or Falcon. We stay at a cabin in Luther Village near Kenora for family camp for a week every summer with my best friend who is Lutheran, as are my husband's family. Our kids absolutely ADORE it there, as there are tons of planned activities every day, and Simon my little one could not be pried off the beach for anything this year, he lived in the sand all week. Alex, my step-son, tried water skiing for the fist time and got up right away. He's very athletic. Alex is 12 going on 5, but he's really a great kid and I'd say we get along well about half the time. The other half of the time, my perfectionist upbringing clashes painfully with his pre-teen boy immaturity. I think we both respect eachother, but it's very difficult when you just walk into the middle of someone's life - both me stepping into his when he was 7, and him stepping into mine when I was 25. I think we just need more time to adapt and bond, which will get better I think as he matures and I loosen the heck up!! Things are complicated by the fact that Mark has raised Alex on his own since Mark was 21 and Alex was just a few months old. Alex's mom left because she wasn't ready for motherhood. So not only did Alex have a very close bond with his dad, but when I stepped in, I think both he and I felt unspoken pressure for me to be his new mom - not just a step-mom, so it meant a HUGE adjustment for both of us, and that adjustment is still going on. We are seriously considering the purchase of a cottage in Winnipeg or Vicoria beach in the next few months! I was just looking on the MLS and Comfree sites before logging onto this one, to see what's available right now. We want something within commuting distance to Winnipeg, no more than an hour or so away, as I am planning to take the summers off from work and live at the cottage all summer while my husband commutes. That's my ideal plan anyhow, we'll see how

Okay, glad your back! Was getting worried about you there! Out of curiosity what lake do you go to? We have a cottage at Victoria beach. I saw on another post you are 30. I'm 28. I'm glad you have a relaxing week and good weather. How old is your step son? Do you get along with him well? If you had a thrombosis of any kind it would get progessively worse and you would of really known it by now. I used to worry about palpitations until I saw how many people experience them on this website. It's cleary a symptom of anxiety. My doctor said you don't have to worry about them unless your fainting, blacking out, etc.. The depression bit kinda comes and goes for me. I haven't been able to nail down exactly how it comes on and how I get over it. I need to to pay attention to the cues more. My doctor gave me a prescription for Xanax which I have filled but yet to take. I think if you have utterly exhausted all other options (exercise, natural medicines, counselling,etc) its something you can consider without feeling any remorse. But as I/we posted before, you aren't making your self better per se, you are just prolonging dealing with your issues. However, I was reading a book on children's anxiety and it discussed medication is helpful when it can be used for a time for the children to gain some coping skills then slowly reduce it. Nevertheless, I am too scared of side effects so I don't think I'll be going down that road anytime soon. I will look into the book you mentioned as my therapist says I need to stop reading books on health realted matters and get a real book to enjoy! You mentioned your supportive friends, I remember one of your posts mentioned deciding to share this with them, how did that go? I tried posting my email to you but it was deleted! Take care.

Hey Alison! Thanks for checking up on me. We just got back this afternoon from a week at the lake. It was really great to get away from it all, at least as much as can be expected. I did pretty well - I was a little concerned about panic attacks and being over 30 minutes away from the nearest hospital. But, I didn't have any panic attacks all week, and only mild anxiety except for a nasty pain in my thigh mid-week which of course I thought must be a blood clot, and then some heart palpitations that made me worry about a heart attack, but those both wore off. Unfortunately, I'm still obsessing about my neck - ever since that deep tissue massage where she practically strangled me, the pain in my neck has been getting worse. So of course, I'm worried that it's an internal jugular thrombosis (yes, I've done my google research - I've been really good about not googling but I broke down on this one). I am going to have to see my doctor about it. The depression I was feeling a few weeks ago has eased up a fair bit. It's still hovering over me, but not engulfing me anymore. So I am still holding off on taking any of the Effexor my doctor prescribed (I haven't even filled the Rx). I am really determined to do it on my own if at all possible. I am really lucky in that I have some very supportive friends and family, etc so I'm hoping all those things might keep me off the meds. How are you doing?? How was your cottage get away? I haven't read any of the other posts yet, to see if you responded about that great therapist you mentioned. I'll take some time to read the posts I've missed in the past week before delving into that subject, so I don't ask any redundant questions! BTW, I read a FANTASTIC book this week called "The Secret Life of Bees" by Sue Monk Kidd. It's a novel, not about anxiety per se, but it really hit a lot of nerves for me about my relationship with my mother, my father, my desire for perfection and acceptance, and the awesome power of forgiveness and inner strength. If you get a chance, read it. I think you'd like it. Caitlin