What works for me, and the tragedy may be it only works for me...but in case it helps someone:
When I go to a bar or club (or anywhere really), I always find myself getting self conscious. I'm not going to get along with anyone. I bet they hate me for the way I just looked at them. I'm ugly. I'm dumb. All the negative, unsubstantiated thoughts I can create. Well now, I just kind of accept it. Literally, like f-word it. I feel this way.
Now when I chill right after I accept it, of course those thoughts try to race over and over like a Nascar race in my head, but I don't let myself think them. It's a battle many times, but I let myself think nothing. Look around and enjoy the surroundings, people smiling, people getting along, some not getting along, what ever! What ever is going on, I let myself take it in. If the demon in me tries to start up the self conscious thoughts, I stop myself from thinking all together. This is still something I'm not even close to mastering, work in progress kinda deal...but the more I do it, the better I get at it (which means it requires less focus - very helpful for a round the world in 60 seconds mind like mine), and the better I feel overall. The more I find myself smiling for no reason. Like a kid with a lollipop.
Here's a good quote, it helps give me strength to do things like the above:
I am only one, but I am one. I cannot do everything, but I can do
something. And I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I
can do.
Edward Everett Hale