Thank you Beth, thank you all. I saw my psych nurse-practioner last night and I am more scared than ever! SHe wants to put me on a third medicine. I would be taking the Lexapro and Klonopin PLUS something called "Anafraril" its a older trycylic with anti-psychoctic chemicals, its an older drug that was used years ago and they do not prescribe much because of the side-effects and I can see why, I looked it up and it said "High risk of siezure's?? also dizziness, fainting, vomiting bloodpressure problems, I am already having effects from the Lexapro and Klonopin {more from Lexapro} the Klonopin does help with the anxiety and sleep a little, why would I take this awful scary medicine, this could cause great harm and possibly death, I have been crying non-stop since going to the Doctor, I thought I would get help and now I am worse than ever. She told me if I was that scared she would increase the Klonopin and leave the Lexapro alone, I am only taking 2.5, she said its not a therauputic dose, why not just increase to .5 then? I know in my heart taking this anafraril would cause me such panic and fear I would get worse, perhaps I should just stop seeing Doctors, they just seem to take money I do not have, and not help and scare me, I so much want to recover but I certainly do not want to die from taking three potent medicines, the more you take the more your risk I have heard, I am going to have to fake feeling better when I see her next, or pretend, because the thought of taking this toxic medicine fills me with dread, I so want to get well but I must be able to function for my son and not get sick or worse from it. I am so hoping with the CBT and prayer this nightmare will end, I so want my life back, I just dont know how to do it, my son needs me, its so hard not to get professional help when you so need it. I am sorry I did not mean to whine or vent, I am just so terrified of never feeling better again. Thank you so much for you replies and prayers, please keep them coming, I am so grateful, thank you, Debbi

I forgot to ask you how you felt before you started taking the Klonopin and also Lexepro?

Hi Debbie, As I said before, I am so sorry you are going through such a horrible time. I am glad you went to your doc and told her how you were feeling. Are you feeling better on the lower dose? I know from my personal experience that if I am nervous about taking a medication I have a hard time with it. I also know that SSRI's do have side effects until your body gets used to them. I do know that if you are concerned at all about anything you are putting in your body, you should again, talk with your doc and express your concerns. Have you ever tried the holistic/natural route instead of medicinal route? Are you on a multi vit everyday? I do know that B-Complex does help anxiety and I do know that I am less anxious about natural creams, herbs and teas than I was about perscribed pills. How old are you? Is there anyway you could be heading into peri-menopause? (Some women enter as early as age 40 and that can start messing with your hormonal balance which does play a part in wellness) This week has been pretty dicey for me and I have experienced tons of anxiety along with physical symptoms as well. Anxiety has a way of taking over your life sometimes and I always tell people that "I cant get out of my own way.." because that is how I feel. I feel that it is a continuous circle of anxious thoughts that spiral. When I feel like this (and it sounds to me as if you experience this too sometimes) I say to myself "I AM OK" "I AM FINE" "I AM STRONG" " I AM HEALTHY" and then I get up and get busy doing something else to distract me from the anxiety. (My house is the cleanest on the block!! lol) Trying to replace the negative thoughts with positive thoughts really does help along with getting busy doing something. Take a walk with your son maybe? Start a project for the Holidays? (Wreaths, a gingerbread house, candle dipping, making gift baskets etc etc) I know it is hard with the physical symptoms you are experiencing, but try to hang in there and think as positivly as possible!!! :) I have found that anxiety can take over the thought process. Please know that I understand where you are and I also know it is hard. Make sure your physical self is healthy. Eat good foods (low fat, low carbs, little sugar and plenty of veggies) drink water, get a goo

Thank you very much for your kind reply Casey, it helped me. I so enjoy when the members of this wonderful site post me and help me, I have so many concerns and scary thoughts their warmth and advice help. Thank you, Debbie.

Hi Debbie, Fellow members will be responding soon with their thoughts on your medication questions. Please consider consulting with your health care provider about your medication concerns and keep in mind that as individuals, some meds can have different effects. Please keep us posted on your progress. Casey __________________________________________ The Panic Center Support Team

Thank you Beth and everyone for your replies. Its been a rough weekend, my nurse-practioner decreased my Lexapro to 2.5 for several weeks till my body adjusts, but I am still having side-effects and I know this is not a theraputic dose to help, I think my fear is of the medicine, I was told to take both the Lexapro and Klonopin at night but then I fear a adverse reaction that I will not wake up! I know that is probably a irrational scary thought, but I cannot get it out of my mind, I guess I figure if something bad happens after taking the lexapro at least I will be awake to call for medical help. I tried SO hard for 3 months to get well without the meds, I detest taking meds, the side effects are brutal then I end up feeling physically sick along with the panic and depression, I know I must change my negative thinking but so far I have been unable to do so. Can taking Lexapro and Klonopin cause you to get sick or God forbid die?! I think the fact Anna Nichole Smith's son dying of Lexapro a month ago has fed this anxiety, I feel so bad for the family, he was such a young man and its heart-breaking, it just so happens I started Lexapro right around the time in happened and it scares me that Lexapro contributed to his death. I was told Lexapro was the most "mild" antidepressant, but I am on such a low dose can it help? I guess its really no use taking a med that you have to take in such a low dose so it does not make you sick but because its so low it will not help? So perhaps I am hurting myself without realizing it. I am praying to recover at least somewhat for my special-needs son, this disorder has robbed him of his Mother and that above all is the most terrrible thing, I had this before and got somewhat better but it took almost a year, its only been 4 months, how will I endure another 8 months of this? I cannot believe medicine alone can make this "go away" I am trying the CBT, its hard with my mind-set through, this time I have depression and thats very scary too. I am sorry to ramble, I am just so terrified of not getting well, and physical illness I cannot think straight. Thank you all for your suppport, replies, prayers and concerns. Debbi

Hi Debbi, Sorry so late in getting back to you and I hope you are feeling better since your last post. I am not a doctor and I am a huge advocate of having a good communication relationship with your PCP along with taking charge of your healthcare. I would suggest you calling them again if you are not feeling any better and telling them how you are feeling and see what can be done from thier end. From what I know, apparently SSRI's can make you feel worse before you feel better. Now I cannot take them. When I did, they made me feel really bad (head, stomach etc) and I stopped taking each one my doc tried probably after the first couple of days with each due to the side effects. I think my doc tried 3 or 4 of them, one being Lexepro. Another was Celexa, another Prozac and I cannot remember the other. I am medication free and have been since last year (Sept 2005) when I finally finished my taper from Klonopin and I prefer that but some people do need assistance and find great help from SSRI's. Please, please call your doc and speak to him/her about your concerns. If you cannot get anyone to assist or listen to you, get a doc who will. I also know that with anxiety your thoughts can spiral out of control sometimes and can cause physical symptoms. If we are afraid of medication and very anxious about taking it, those thoughts if not calmed down can cause what is called a psychosomatic response. This is why I think you should speak again with your doctor, as it could be the medication or it could be your anxiety kind of running away with your anxious thoughts. After all I have gone through in the last few years, bottom line is I know my body and I know what is working and what isnt working. TRUST YOUR BODY AND WHAT IT IS TELLING YOU and know you have support here and people that care about you :) HANG IN THERE!!!! :) Hugs & Support, Beth

Thank you very much Danille and Beth for replying to me. I am sorry I did not write back sooner, when I increased the lexapro I became very very ill, I was in bed for two days, I called the Doctor and she said to decrease the Lexapro to 2.5 for a few days then go back to .5 I am very sick from this medicine but I got sick from Paxil and Zoloft also and this is supposed to be the less severe. I think I am scared to take this because I read a very scary article that said "Some people cannot take the SSRI antidepressants because they lack a gene that metabolizes the drug and it can build up to toxic levels and cause death!! Now I am pretrified to take it, I skipped it today and feel a bit better, at least I am out of bed. IS this true can these antidepressants cause death? How do you know whether you are experiencing normal side effects or some sort of toxic perhaps deadly reaction? Is vomiting, diahreah, nausea and headache "normal" with these meds? The Doctor said keep taking it that the only way I am going to feel better is to "get the chemicals back in order" but do I risk death to do that" I have become very depressed lately due to the terrible panic, I am so confused, I dont know what to do, I want so much to get well, but I fear Lexapro so much building up in my body and causing death or sickness! I am sorry I do not mean to vent, getting so sick so soon after starting the Lexapro scared me. I am praying that the low dose will help me. Thank you for any replies, prayers I am grateful. Debbie.

Debbi, You've received some great advice from your fellow members. I can only echo: * Keep in touch with your doctor or pharmacist and ask plenty of questions. Find out what side effects you can expect and how your doctor wants you to deal with them. Find out what should be a cause for concern. * Keep working through the program. Beth' journal idea may also help you. Learn about your panic cycle and start to slowly regain your control. You've experienced a relaspse and my heart goes out to you! Keep in mind that you were doing better and you'll get back there, just take it one baby step at a time. Keep posting and let us know how you're doing. Danielle ______________________ The PC Support Team

Hi Debbi, I am so sorry to hear that you are so scared. My heart really goes out to you. I had a couple of thoughts as I was reading your post so I'll write them here and I hope they help you. First off, I want to tell you that you are OK!! :) You have a lot going on right now. Your anxiety is working overtime because it thinks it has to protect you from something. I have learned a lot in the last 4 years about why we have anxiety and that it is actually a "protector" not an enemy. Doesnt mean it feels any better, but it is just working overtime because it feels it has to. Maybe if you try some positive self "talk" and say "I'm OK" or "I can relax, everything is alright" "This is not an emergency" "I'll be fine" you might not be as worried or scared of your anxiety and it may calm down and stop working overtime. The calmer YOU are, the calmer your anxiety may become. I have had anxiety (PTSD from a sexual assault in my home) for about 5 years now. Just after the assault, the doc put me on K so I know all about that. It did help the initial back to back anxiety/panic attacks and for that I was grateful. I was on it for just about 2 years at a very low dose and then it "flipped" on me and started to enhance my original symptoms so I tapered off of it. The doc's also tried Lexepro and a couple of other SSRI's but they made me feel really nasty (I believe it was because the Klonopin and an SSRI was too much medicine for me)so I decided to work on my anxiety without meds. Bottom line, medication does help people but I believe that all Benzo's (Klonopin, Xanax, Valium, Adivan, etc) make people very sensitive to other medications so just take it slow when introducing another med. Keep in touch with your doc on your symptoms and how you are feeling. A good relationship with your doc is key to success! I also have found another really good tool to control my anxiety. I posted it the other day on another forum in here and quite a few people thought it was a great idea so I'll post it here in hopes that it may help you. Take a notebook and on the top of your first page in the left hand corner write NEGATIVE. Then go over to the top right and write POSITIVE. Draw a line down the middle of the paper separating the two. Whenever you have a negative though