I do not know what scares me about death. Foe me it is the end, it is the fact that there is nothing I can do about it, I can not stop it or decide when it is going to happen. It is the ultimate threat to my being! I do not believe in God and death is the end of life, there is nothingness once we are dead and all the things we have now and the people we know will all be gone and forgotten. It is dark and I try to think that all that matters is the now, the present. I do my best at work, at home and for my children and pass on recipes and memories that hopefully they will cherish. Somehow death is always in the air for me. A lot of people have died around me since I Was very young, my grandparents, my mother when I was 18, my sister committed suicide, a couple of friends alse died in tragic circumstances. Maybe all these things have made me more aware of death?!
I do wonder if thinking about death is just another way to continue my anxiety, another "bad" habit, something that I dwell on instead of letting go and allwoing myself to be happy.... :confuse:
