I have the same problem and have been wondering if it is part of the whole avoidance thing! I avoid many things that can make me feel unconfortable and although I like sex and have a loving husband, I feel tense and can not relax so again I avoid it as it is easier. Lately I have stopped avoiding and have just been doing it regardless. It is usually enjoyable and in the long run it may have more positive effects. I find avoiding sex creates more anxiety for myself and in the relationship which is not good for anybody! And you may also find it relaxing which is a bonus. You are not alone.....
Diva,
Start slow and work your way up one small step at a time, challenging your thoughts along the way. Try doing something romantic together. A bath for two perhaps? This gives you the physical closeness but no pressure, it's just a bath.
Once you're comfortable with that move into new scenarios and new levels of closeness and intimacy.
Hope this helps.
Danielle
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The PC Support Team
ok i found the appropriate thread for what i need to say. And i want to thank Angel for starting it!I was too embarassed to start a thread bmyself! Thank goodness for the search function and for Angel!
Well my problem with being let's say intimate with my husband is not just lack of mood. Sometimes when my anxiety is down, the mood could come over me but then I get really scared! That is because the physical arousal or the act itself of being intimate had physical senstions that remind me of panic attacks (sweating feeling hot, fast heart-beat, breathing different....) And that freaks me out!. It is also the problem i have with just plain exercising.
And I feel bad because my poor husband is being very patient and he doesn't ever ask for anything in this area he is very respectful of that but I am afraid i have not been able to attend to any of his needs for well since december at least! I feel so bad for him. Plus, before the relapse i did like having sex with him! so i miss it. I also miss the intimacy that comes with it!
Anyway, any advice or whatever on this would be appreciated... Thanks /blush
-Diva
Hi Angel,
Thanks for posting this. As you can see you are not alone in feeling this way. It is great to be able to share with people who truly understand what it is like to live with panic and anxiety.
Casey
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The Panic Center Support Team
thats exactly my point! Horrible thinking will not get you in the mood for anythinggg...not just being intimate. So i'm really concerned about this. Its very important to a healthy relationship for everyone.
Well, I think anyone who says this doesn't effect them in this area is in denial. How could it not??? If you are fearful and have horrible thoughts how excited can you get!?!
Kudos for posting this!
Absolutely.
I've been wondering the same exact thing as you.
I also love my boyfriend more than anything in the world, but when it comes to being intimate I often get worried that I'll be tired after. Or it will take too much time and I'll waste some of my day. Or something else that doesn't make sense. So I avoid it quite often. I'm only in the first week of CBT, so maybe I'll work on that later on.
Hi everyone.
I'm a little embarrassed to ask this question. Umm, do any of you notice that because of the anxity/depression, that you are really not in the mood to be intimate/romantic? I'm not saying to have sex (i'm waiting for marriage for that). I'm just asking in GENERAL if you find your self not in the mood.
Its a really personal question. Its been bothering me a lot because I don't feel good about myself with all this anxiety. My self esteem has gone down a lot. So i tend to find my self not in the mood to be romantic sometiems. This really bothers me because I am so attracted to my fiance and i love him deeply. I just feel that maybe he thinks i'm boring or something.
i dont' know
plz, if anyone can relate, plz respond. If u dont' want to talk about this subject, i totally understand.
Thanks so much
