Hi, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss, it sounds like your gran was well loved, and I'm sure she knew that. When you can ( note, not if !!) manage the journey, you can tell her yourself how much she mean't to you. I don't know what your beliefs are, but I'm sure she'll be listening, so please don't beat yourself up about being unable to go to the funeral, its not that difficult to understand, but given time, and support I'm sure you'll make that trip sometime, when you're ready, and I'm very sure thats what she would have wanted, no worry or pressure for you, just you to be well, and you will be, in time. Take care