Since I wrote the last message, I havent been thinking as much about death. I went out with my neighbour and her baby, and I was thinking how precious babies are, and we wouldnt go telling a little kid about how we feel and fear, so why should we have to put ourselves through these thoughts? I think because i'm getting older, and I turn 45 on the 4th of May, I feel that i'm going to get old and die soon. that is so scary. But then most people say that these are the best times of your life. So instead I decided to throw a big birthday bash, instead of hiding it. I am having the family and the neighbours all coming for a bbq. I feel young at heart, isnt that the main thing?
Everyone thinks i'm early 30's and most cannot belive i'm going to be 45. So thats a compliment to me...i'm rambling cornish-dee..hehe!!!
