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for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 778

Lol you make me smile as well Diva , sure your hubby would join you . 2nd childhoods and all that !

Sorry to hear you are feeling so stressed atm as well , you are a very busy lady . You said it yourself you shouldnt feel guilty in taking the meds if they help you get to sleep , cant see my doc letting me have stuff like that . They are quite strict here . Mind you i usually get off to sleep okish its the constant waking up thats the pain .

Yes being a mum is busy but so are you , its all in the organising and theres lots of little things to cheat to make them occupied . Today i got out paper glue and paint , budding artists in the making , cleaners i think not !! Thanks kids .

Well you take care and good luck with the work , it sounds very hard to me .

CD x

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 2101

Hiya CD!

Sorry to hear you had such a tough day yesterday and glad to hear you are better now. I am also glad your nightly PAs are not as bad as before. One way or another they are still annoying.

Me I have been working really hard the last few days and had little time to take good care of myself as such my anxiety levels are higher. As such, the nightly wake up thingy are here in full force making it hard for me to really fall asleep easily. But I do need my sleep to finish up this big project. As such I have had to take my clonazepam (Rivotril or Klonopin, depending if in America or Europe) to help me relax beofre I sleep. I had not taken any in a while and was feeling pretty happy with myself. Now I feel a but guilty abuot taking so much in the last week. But hey, I keep telling people I think it is ok to take meds when you need them so I guess I should apply that to myself!

As for you eating things htat are not so good, we all deserve that once in a while. and hey we will keep it a secret!

Sorry to hear you tablets make you feel "zombiefied" during the day. That feeling might still pass though once your body gets used to the medication. I used to take a medication that did that at first and the feeling had passedin my case. I don't take those meds anymore but not for that particular reason though :).

Lol I can just imagine you sleeping in a chair while you kids are there with their hands in the cookie jars! I used to do that to my mom! Poor mommies can't even get a wink! I think being a parent looks like th toughest job in the world! 24/7!

As for the paddling pool lol I can just imagine your younger siblings reactions when you stole their pool! And yes, when it gets hot I do want one. I am just too chiken. I can't begin to imagine what my husband would say if I set up a paddling pool in our backyard deck! HAving no kids I would have few arguments when he would ask me if I have flipped my lid lol. Plus, the neighboors second floor windows look right into my backyard. I can just imagine their reaction to it. and oye bathing suit..."shudders". But yes, the paddling pool sounds nice on a hot summer day!

Have fun cooking supper. I was taking a break but now I am off to get back to work. Bleh!

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 778

Awwww you guys all warm and fuzzy now but in a good way .

Diva PA's in night are there still but not so powerful where you shake like a jelly and gasp for breathe thank god . Its more like you said , you find it very hard to breath yes kind of gasping for breath . Which is still awful but not as bad as the other .

Well i kept quiet yesterday because i didnt want to whine . For the first time in awhile i was in pain again so axiety levels sky high . Which made me not be able to eat , which lead onto the dizziness blah blah . I got very cross with myself but still couldnt force food till late evening when i managed some cereal . Its much better today thank goodness just pangs here and there and i have eaten lots . Not exatly good things though

so dont tell DM . Good job shes away lol .

These tablets make me a zombie in the daytime , hate it . Im ok if i keep myself busy but as soon as you sit down you want to sleep . Not a chance , espically as its school hols imagine what they would raid if i had 40 winks in the chair !!! Angels really , but devils in the kitchen hehehe .

Diva you do not need children for a paddling pool you know . I used to pop in my mums one when i was in my twenties and kick younger siblings out lol . No wasnt that mean

. Go on get one you know you want to !!!! Say its exposure work hahahaha . Well it is in a way i think . A swimming costume for goodness sake that was a big thing for me . Just make sure your water is warmer than mine .

Okies off to cook dinner booooo pop back later .

Take care all CD x

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 477

Agreeing with Diva,

I enjoy reading about your days and it is great to read that you had a lot of accomplishments again. Thanks for writing!

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1693

Sounds like you had a great day cornish dee!

Glad to hear that you are doing well

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 2101

Hello Cd,

I love reading your posts. Even when you are having a tough time your posts are written with humour and optimism. I look forward to getting news from you!

Sorry about the nightly panic attacks.Lately I have not been having panic attacks at night (haven't had a PA in months actually) but been having symptoms when going to bed that had not been there in a long while. I think my daily stress is coming out when I try to fall asleep. I start falling asleep and I wake up suddenly just panting and scared and feeling like I had been choking as I feel asleep. Talk about your rude awakenings. And it does that 4-10 times everynight as I try to fall asleep. It ised to send me into total PAs but now I wake up and remind myself I am fine, that it is just stress and that I am not choking and go back to trying to sleep. But just that symptom bothers me so I really feel for you having actual PAs during the night. I remember those being so aweful! Ahng in there though they do go away. Also, as with daily PAs, even when they do happen they get easier to deal with . Well that is how it is in my case. I rally shouldn't generalize. But anyway, I digress. Just wanted to say I am sorry you are having tough nights and you are in my thougths.

As for going to a party, OOOH! Wel done! Four hours at the neighboors that is great! And good for you for going an hour for the BBQ after such a big day! Talk about some major successes!I went out last night too. For the first time in a very long time my husband wanted to introduce me to some of his coworkers. They are a couple like us. So I was really nervous as I wanted to make a good impression on them. So we went there and it went well. I kept my nerves in check and stayed till late. Was really proud of myself. Don't know if I made a good impression or not but at least I did my best! If they invite us over again I will go :) Again, i am getting off track. congratulations again!

OOH paddling ppol. It gets so hot here lately, I need one of those! I have no kids but hey, I still wouldn't hate having one. Although I haven't been in a swim suit in ages either... LOL

Anyway, sorry to hear you have it rough but very happy to hear about your successes. Keep us posted with the CD diaries when you can!

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 778

Lol thanks guys you make me smile which is a great thing .

Well yesterday didnt run around with the t-shirt on !! Had another awful night PA wise , was very dissapointed after having a night without them before . Oh well will have to change my signature to one night at a time !

But i was agood girl yesterday . A neighbour well actually i class her more of a friend now asked me to help her with her party prep . So i did in the morning . Then i went to the shop to pick some things up for her . She asked my family and me to come in the afternoon to the party ooooooooo was abit nervous then . But i went , even had a bottle of lager and two glasses of homebrew wine

. The kids had a great time so did my husband and so did i we stayed there four hours . She wanted me back in the evening to the BBQ . I did but only for less than an hour . I was exhusted and anxious-ish .

Today , well i went to kids a paddling pool from shop . Blew the huge thing up phew that was hard work . Plus its soooo hot . I even went in the pool with them because they were begging me . It was freezing

i didnt last that long . Plus its the first time i have worn a swimming costume in 14 YEARS whoahhhhhhh .

So thanks for asking aboit me you all know how much that means . That was the latest update in CD's diary lol .

Hope everyone is doing great xxx

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 76

Hope you're feeling better!

Have a good day tomorrow!

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 477

"Still would rather have pain that i know about than all the anxiety in the world ."

Aye, aye to that!

How is today?

for 16 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1693

So much great advice and support here.

I hope everyone is feeling well today

Keep up the wonderful work everyone,

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

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