Hi, I just wanted to say that it's true- many of us have been down this road. I have the same immense fear, but about being bipolar. I have looked back on past events and nearly convinced myself that certain things I have done or said in the past can better be explained by a bipolar disorder. I have made myself sick from the stress about this. I have felt incredible amounts of doom, panic, depression because of this. I have literally thrown myself into full blown panic attacks even at home (without realizing it at the time), which only made me feel even more 'out of control' and frightened, convincing myself furthermore that I am absolutely losing my mind and will land up alone in an asylum forever. This is my biggest fear, so I don't even notice I am having multiple panic attacks in the midst of all my worries either. I am far too focused on what is going to happen to me, where am I going to land up, how I will loose my entire life, etc... I could write about this one issue for hours, as I have struggled (and am still struggling with it) very often. Instead, let me just tell you that everything will be alright. It has to be. We will all make our peace with our fears eventually, nothing lasts forever- not even panic! Stay strong within yourself, and don't give into the obssessive and anxious thoughts. It's the worst possible thing for you, do not empower your automatic negative thoughs and fears. Also, let me just add that I used to be horrified about every physical symptom and it's potential diseases in the 1'st year of my Panic disorder, despite what anyone told me, I was right- they were wrong. I was very worried for myself. As it turns out, nothing was physically wrong with me, it took many, many, tests and doctors for me to finally begin trusting and believing I was okay. Now here I am worrying I may have a mental illness; making myself sick for days at a time with worry. Then it occurs to me once in a while, what if this is the same thing as when I was worried about my physical self, except now I am obssessing about my mental health? It's hard to really wrap your mind around this thought and just trust, as 'what if' thoughts enter your mind. But I just think about all the time I have wasted worrying about my physical self back then, and how