Breanne is 100% right. I think you do soooo much for me more than any therapist has ever done! Thanks for that. I bet it is still hard for you but you are really going in the right track and it is very admirable from my view point. Thanks so much for being here.
Congrats on selecting your classes, you must be getting excited for classes to start! You are going to do great! You are an excellent listener and extremely bright! Just ask all of the members, and if need be, re read all of the amazing, supportive, encouraging, enlightening and knowledgeable posts that you have written to others.
Stay strong and positive Diva, you are going to do great!!
Today I got up and ate a nice breakfast. Then I got dresed put some snazzy clothes on. I said hello to my kittys and went to say hello to Oscar. Held his urn a bit but then put it back down. Then I went out. Posted about it in the success column. Now am kinda pooped but happy with myself. I still miss him and am still grieving. I still cry for him sometimes. But I really think yesterday was a turning point for me.
Leaves will start falling for autumn soon. I might pick one up to put with his urn. My leaf hunter...I do miss him but I know it is ok to be ok. So, it seems I have dusted myself off. Time for me to do my own "leaf hunting" and learn from him.
I have chosen my classes for the fall and am starting next thrusday. Next tuesday I do need to make sure I have my schedule written down and that I am properly registered and everything. Sometimes I am scared of being in the field I am in. What if I don't listen well enough, what if I am no good. Then I remember to breathe and that I am still learning and I tell myself I will do ok.
I also start work off next week also. Spoke to my boss about what needs doing and such. Kinda nervous about doing work and school all at once. But I will take it one day at a time.
So off I go into a new adventure. Still feel kinda scared but I figure with all the suport I have I will manage!
Thank you so much for your replies. Thank you for your support. It means the world to me!
Today I am hmm I don't know how to put it. I woke up and felt like: "Ok, this is the day I pick myself up and dust myself off." I know there will still be hard days ahead. I know there will still be grief and sadness. I know I will still mis him. But I also know that is is ok for me to be ok. That it is ok for me to let happiness into my life. I decided I was getting back up and starting to walk forward again. Up to now it felt like I was laying sad and broken in a dank, dirty ditch somewhere. Now I am still sad and fragile but I am up and standing on the road and hoping for some sunlight!
I am not honoring Oscar's memory one bit by being a sad sop! He was a mellow, happy go lucky, life-loving cat. Everyone loved him for it too. The vet's sent me a card for his passing. The vet people loved him, they often commented on how great and happy he was. I am sure that over the rainbow bridge he is still happy and making the best of every moment, hunting leaves and sleeping in sunrays.
So it is high time I decide to learn from him. I am still grieving and still sad and I still miss him And that is ok. But I will try and make the most of my days and that is ok too. So that is me today.
Hi ya Diva . Your sleep pattern will come back , i was like for a few weeks cept i didnt really even sleep in the day with my brood . Dont know how i managed just do i suppose .
I forgot you had some of Oscars fur , thats a thought as well . I agree it has to be 'the right one ' . You will know it when you see it .
Your course sounds very rewarding and full on , well done you and im sure you are going to do just fine . No better than fine .
I love having you as a friend too , and youv'e helped me so much as well so it goes both ways you know .
I like the locket idea too. I had not thought of ashes in the locket but I will keep that in mind. And not it does not upset me and I get the sentiment, I really do! I had thought of a picture like Breanne had said and I also have some of his fur that I clipped before he passed. Thought maybe fur. Not sure yet though, I wil see. First I need to find a locket that suits not only me but him also.
As for sleeping I slept fine except I did not sleep all night then slept al day...Not good. Slept from 6 am to 4 pm...I am in the pitts...Gonna get out though I will.
Thank you so much for your friendship and suport! It means tthe world to me.