Aha, Randy Pausch...I learned about him from aol when he passed. I meant to check his video out. To still be able to live to the fullest, especially when you know your end is near...that's a very admirable trait. I'll have to check out your motivational video...and maybe I should put my own up soon.
Gene, I think it's great that you have motivation for you job. One motivation is all you need to get the rest! And disappointing things are there as walls to test you if your really want things.
This reminds me of Randy Pausch. Have you guys heard of him? He was a Professor who died from pancreatic cancer... he's famous for his "last lecture." I will post it as my motivational video... be advised, it is a bit sad because he died, but it's a beautiful lecture. Watch it!!
Aha, Gene that line cracked me up, "hopefully I am more of a warrior than a worrier". But I see us all as warriors, just "multi-lingual" warriors. Meaning we can fight the battle no matter the language life tries to use when throwing it at us (physical, mental, emotional). Anxiety just helped us take that extra step up. Wish I remembered a line from the Lao Tsu book I have...would probably come in handy right now. Oh well...the sky is blue, water is wet, we are warriors!
Miki: I thought the important part was the beginning, it's the part that catches the interest to keep going!
But really, you started the gears, I just shifted them a bit. (And thank ya for the compliment )
I am the same. I am a fighter. Hopefully I am more of a warrior than a worrier :) But fighting PAs isn't quite the same. Allot of the fighting is really just passively accepting. Being at peace with them. This goes against my nature. I think that's why I am good with situational PAs like driving or for me going to the gym. I do it "on a mission". I experiences PAs but I am driven and so it doesn't affect me badly. It feels like a battle or fight which I must win. It is very tiring. But the worst is sitting at home trying to read or watch TV and then getting panicky. This kind of battle can only be won by acceptance and perseverance.
I also lost my motivation. I still haven't gotten all of it back but most of it has returned. Except for work! I was fortunate that I have been very rewarded by my hobbies so I am beginning to claw my motivation back. I am sure that my love for my work will return. My de-motivation is partly because my research has been very disappointing.
It definitely is a tiring battle, but it feels so good to be able to shoot for something. Personally, my motivation went to crap with PA. Nothing to shoot for, because I always downtrodded myself into failure in fear of fear. Now, I have something to battle...and I tend to be one of those people who "run just to run", so I'm not in it for win or lose, just to do it and learn from it.
Is there a possibility for it to come back? Always. But I'll fight then just like I fought before. The bully never backs down until you show him you won't, and the bully will always test...over and over and over (like a kid!), but becoming ok with knowing you can take him each time is my key. He may win from time to time, but that's life, can't win them all...but you can keep trying! Long live the hopes that carry us forward, and even longer for the challenges that make us appreciate our hopes that much more.
smilings so good , thanks from me too . 
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