Hi momsydoo,

 

 

 I to have had anxiety and panic for about 20 some years, and over the years I have had people not

understand what I was going through, the one example I use is: I say to the person you know when you

are driving and someone pulls out in front of you and your heart starts to pound and and your body gets

tight and your looking for a way to to avoid the crash? well thats what I go through when I'm having a

panic or anxiety attack, the same thoughts and feelings. or I look for other situations when they are

scared or nervous and then I let them no that's how it is for me when I have an attack.  I find that if

they can feel it they under stand better, if that makes sense.  And as far as crying,( me being in the

perimenapause state) I do that all the time and I tell people it's good for the soul and that we could use

the water!! One thing that I have learned over the years is that people are going to think what they

want, it only matters what I think! I hope this helps.

 

Welcome to this site momsydoo:  Sorry to hear you are going through a rough time right now. Sounds like the crying you had was a release of the stress you felt when your son was away at war, which is soooo normal. And it's sad when you hear of a soldier killed at war especially from your neighbourhood; it could have been your son and you identify with that.

 

  Just want to let you know that my family didn't believe me that anxiety disorder even existed.  That was years ago.  I still don't know if they understand, but it doesn't matter to me as much anymore.  I came to the realization that this was healing work I had to do for myself.  I concentrated on myself (selfish isn't it?) but that's what we have to do.  It took a few years, but now I no longer have panic attacks.   I can't remember my last one, though I have had symptoms when I am really stressed out and overtired.  There are some good books out there, sorry, I don't know the latest titles but if you research online, you'd probably get lots.  In the early years my husband agreed to read a book I had called "The Anxiety Disease" by David V. Sheehan, M.D.  It's from the 80's I think, certainly not new but it helped us in understanding what was happening.  If you decide to read this book forget the part on drugs as they are probably out of date, there are better ones available these days, but it does explain how it takes time to get used to them, not to panic if you experience side effects and how the doctor can tweak the dosage to suit you best.  And certainly this site would really open his eyes about this disorder; how people live with it, cope with it and even heal from it.

Don't give up!  This is a great site to vent, to share, to cry on someone's shoulder.  We care

The only people that can understand our problem are other people that have it and those that are trained and have years of experience treating it. There are people that believe that if they didn't experience it then it doesn't exist. It is like trying to explain colour to a blind person. My brother thinks what he calls the screamies is the same thing. I've given up trying to explain to people unless they really want to know. I also have this convenient disease called Arthritis so if I get caught with tears in my eyes I can blame it on pain and it's accepted. If I have to leave a restaurant or store I can blame it on pain and it's accepted because that is something they can understand. There are probably books explaining what you are going through but to the inexperienced they may make you look even weaker for not being able to handle it. There is nothing wrong with having feelings and caring. It only means that you are not brain dead. It sounds like your daughter would make a good confident and if she is suffering from anxiety, you could help each other. Or you could just conveniently develop Arthritis to explain the tears. People see only what they want to see.

Davit.

Momsydoo, it must be frustrating to not be able to find the words to explain to your family what is really going on. You should be proud of yourself for having the courage to want to share with them what you are experiencing.

Have you thought about maybe directing them to this site, and sharing some of the information on here with them? I'm not sure about any books or articles that explain anxiety, perhaps other members can share any information they may have in regards to this, or you could try your local library. Even writing down your thoughts and feelings and sharing them with your family in a heart felt letter could be useful.

Let us know what you decide,

 

I have had depression and anxiety for 30 years now.  It hasn't been unbearable for the entire time, for the most part I have been fine.  I think that is part of why people don't understand how bad this is because I've gone years with no problems then all of a sudden I can't even get out of bed without shaking, sweating, heart racing, etc.  Sometimes I know what has triggered it sometimes I don't.  This causes troubles with my husband because he doesn't understand, nothing gets him anxious.  Because sometimes its something so small to him or sometimes I think it is something physical and then he gets all, "just get over it" "don't worry about it, it will be alright".  He doesn't understand how once I get started how it just takes my mind and gets it off on everything even things that have nothing to do with what got me started in the first place.  Like the other day, I have a son Tony who is in the army, recently returned to US from Afghanistan, and he is fine but I heard on the news about a soldier in our area being killed and I just started crying uncontrollably and my husband looked at me like I'm nuts and that makes me feel like hiding my feelings when I know he'll respond like that.

 

Does anybody have any advice on how to get someone to understand better how anxiety feels?  I can't find the right words to get anyone to understand and not just think that I'm weak.  I think the only person who really has a clue is my 16 year old.  She also shows a little anxiety about things every once in a while.  I also realize now that my grandmother had the same depression and anxiety problems.  Nobody really understood but now that I'm having anxiety on a more regular basis I can see how I'm doing some of the same things my Gma did.  I wish I had known when she was still alive so I could have helped everyone to understand her instead of getting frustrated and angry with her.

 

Are there any books or articles that I could give to my family that would help them understand it better.

Afternoon All :)

 

My gf gets REAL irritated when she sees me on WebMD trying to self-diagnose. Im already a hypochondriac as it is, so that web site is NOT good for me at all LOL Instead of me worrying about having a heart attack, it's now worrying about having a stroke. It's a mess

Sunny123,

 

   Thanks! 

    It's been challenging w/ regard to heart issues.  Thankfully, I've been tested and retested and my heart is healthy.  I think my biggest challenge (ironically) is that I know a lot about heart issues being a cardiac nurse years ago.  Slowly but surely I'm coming to the realization that my heart is fine... thank God!  And you're right, a lot of it has to do with totally removing or reducing my exposure to anxiety provoking events, which for me means not using 'Google' or 'WebMD' to self diagnose.  This inevitably causes me to convince myself the 'worst case' scenario is happening... which is never the case, except in my mind.

 

    The other piece of 'good news' is that my panic attacks have lessened over the last 4 months in frequency and intensity.  I have had 'a couple' but haven't taken the trip to the ED.  I think that this program is a direct result of my realization that I'm physically ok, just anxious.  Which may not seem like a big improvement, but it is for me.

 

    My biggest challenge is dealing w/ everyday stress... something that I never thought of before and hope to forget about in 2010!  I work through 30-60 minute periods of stress usually twice a day.

 

     I'm seeing my MD in January who told me he's thinking of switching my Buspar to Zoloft.  I rarely take Xanax anymore, primarily because it makes me feel terrible later... and the 'rebound' anxiety takes a couple of days to get past.  If anyone has experience w/ Zoloft let me know... my experience w/ Cymbalta and Lexapro weren't the best.  I'm hoping this SSRI works for me... has anyone tried one class of drug, SSRI or not, and been sucessful w/ another drug in that same class?

    Thanks!

 

  

Hi everyone:  I know of a priest, a nurse, a school prinicpal,  2 musicians, artists and college kids.  I know of housewives, business men and business women.  Oh, and actors, apparently Sir Lawrence Olivier took pro-pranolol before going on stage. Yes, it is widespread indeed.  And yes, it does help to know you are not alone, that it is something that can occur in all walks of life. 

 

Hi JGD84:  I used to avoid all articles on heart problems as they caused me to get anxious since chest pains are what bothered me and frightened me, so I understand what you mean.  This does pass though as you heal.  It might take awhile but  I hope you keep practicing the CBT program.  It really worked for me.  Good luck.

My therapist told me that there are more people suffering from anxiety in one form or another than any thing else. She would like to start a group therapy but people don't want to be known to have this. The pharmacy here sells more SSRIs and tranquillizers than anything else. When I was in the hospital I saw more people come in for heart attacks in the middle of the night that weren't heart attacks. So many cases of the flu that aren't. So many cases of chronic headache that nothing works for. And it all gets treated with little white pills. (ativan) And yes the beautiful people suffer too, but if they are rich enough to run to the doctor or can afford a private retreat for rest then you don't hear about it. Just look at the number of alcoholics in high pressure jobs. And drug addiction is not limited to street people. Just look around the stores at all the zombies that would rather be somewhere else. And some of them work there. Then there are the people that relieve their stress by taking it out on other people, mentally or physically. Putting more people on little white pills. I've noticed that there are a lot more people visiting this site than joining. I imagine they are disappointed that there is no quick fix for there anxiety so they can keep their high pressure jobs. And why not we live in a world where if it's broke you throw it away and get another. Here is a program that works but it takes more than a third of a year for most. For so many it's not till the pills and alcohol and drugs don't work any more and they have, or are about to lose every thing that people try this way. I feel so sorry for them because it was always there, they just had to take the time to do it. I know because for four years I let the Tranquillizers try to fix me. I don't know what I would have done if I hadn't been forcefully retired because of physical disability. Now all I have to do is stay within my income and think happy thoughts.  I would never tell any one not to take medication, but I am so happy that I don't need it any more. The world looks, feels, tastes and smells so much better. I wish that years ago I had just changed jobs instead of taking the pills, or learned how to handle the stress better because sometimes you can't just run away. Anxiety is like cancer or chronic disease, it can hit anyone and as you can see it does. Sometimes with just as devastating results. 

I hope you had a good Christmas and hopefully like me you have getting well as a New Years resolution.

Peace

Davit.

Ashley,

 

   I have completed the readings.  I've found the program to be very comprehensive.  Encompassing all the main ideas on how to reduce/eliminate anxiety/panic.   I'm saying this as an RN (practiced in cardiac/thoracic) whose read numerous books on panic/anxiety and read through Linden/Barry and many others.

 

   I'm still working through some anxiety... however the biggest change for me came from self awareness that it wasn't a physical ailment that was bothering me... but a mental one that causes physical reactions.  I've had a couple of panic attacks, and although not pleasant (at all!!!) I didn't go to the hospital which was a 'break through' for me.

 

   Again, the article mentioned below was meant to show how many people get physical reactions to emotional release and/or stress.

   Thanks!