shadowkins
Acceptance is the hardest part of this. A person can do the breathing and all the positive thinking but at some point you have to accept that what you get today is what you get. Very very hard to do. When I was at my worst I drank two cups of Lemon Balm tea before bed and took an extra bit of Calcium. I slept right through and sleep is important. Some times if I didn't feel I needed it I would leave it by the bed and drink it in the middle of the night. I found it was equivalent to the Ativan without the rebound I got from Ativan.
It is an odd thing but some times when there is no stress there is anxiety just because we are so used to fighting stress. There are so many things in this disorder that don't make sense at the start.
Why do you see every thing black? Subconsciously you are afraid that you might fail so why try. The fact that you know what you are doing and how you feel says you are progressing.
Look at the positives, you have started the group session and it will help, believe me. Patience, just let it flow and try to concentrate on the little achievements and never mind the failures. It makes me sad to see you go through this because I had to do it also and felt the same way and the hardest was being patient. It takes time but it will with time get better.
Try to accept that for the next few months you will get little that you want done. But that at the end of that time you will be calmer and on the road to freedom. Practice relaxation and I hope you are keeping a journal. It is the only way to separate reality from the imagined.
Have you found a way to release the nervous energy. How about beating the hell out of a pillow and laughing at the absurdity of it. Or get a nerf ball and chuck it at the wall. Harder and harder till you sweat. Don't forget to laugh at the same time. It is called distracting and will stop you from seeing every thing black.
Don't forget to hug your dog, it is probably just as confused as you are.
Davit.
, ever since this began he follows me everywhere...almost like he is keeping an eye on me to make sure I don't give up. He's a smart old man of 11 years and loves unconditionally.
