Some times you just have to say "To hell with it." "I am not doing this any more." "What is the worst that can happen to me." "I might embarrass myself but I won't die." Of course the first time I did this I didn't care, I was so bad I would rather have died. But I didn't so I get to keep pushing and nagging you till you too are free enough to say "I am not doing this any more," and then some. Really what is the worst that can happen? You will be embarrassed! Is this thought feeding your anxiety? Are you going to let it win? If you have never been embarrassed before then it is time you were, just for the experience. Pride, vanity, they all feed our anxiety.
Over the last week I have had a number of things go wrong to add to the things from before that are still not fixed so they are piling up. I could feel the anxiety building last night and I have to admit that it did wake me every hour. I still went back to sleep but that is not good sleep. And for what, all those things that need to be fixed are still there. It is a gorgeous day. After I have breakfast I will pick the most important and fix it, and the next and we will see how far I get. Some are just worry and hinge on the future, they will have to go back in the box for later. I'll try to bury them with a few accomplishments.
By the way this is not setback, this is just life in general for a cripple. Having Staph on top just makes it a bit more challenging. What happens, happens, the world will still be revolving long after I'm gone. What matters is that I tried.
That will be my Epitaph. "HE TRIED"
Happy Mothers Day.
I want to make next Sunday, "No panic day" and see how many of us manage it. A little twist on Fudd's law which says if you push something hard enough it will fall over. If you want something bad enough you can get it. You just have to want it bad enough. The end justifies the means. Just do it.
No fair Yoda, you had 800 years to get it right.
Hope you all have a nice day.
Davit.
