I came across this site randomly while looking for help with my anxiety. When I read member's posts; both positive and negative, and realized there were so many just like me , but able to speak openly, I cried. I could finally feel free to say the truth as to what I was experiencing. I think I would feel guilty if I thought I made another person have a down day...and not be so honest.
I have recieved so much help here, and hopefully have given a tiny bit back too, even if they haven't always been posted in the "correct" thread.
Sunny, you are right about reading the words...without the person actually speaking them sometimes its hard to determine their emotions.
I am glad you were able to vent about your situation this morning and thank you for letting us know how you are doing. I understand you to say you are feeling very upbeat now. I am happy your are feeling much better and have a nice visit planned with your family. Feel free to vent or just say hello don't worry about where is gets posted. What is important is getting your feeling out. I do it all the time here on the site. Well as for me I am going to log out now and do a little self care for the rest of the day.
Hello Red: Was it my post which upset you? I was sharing my situation and explaining why I hadn't been on the site lately and saying "hello"- but if you could have heard my tone of voice, I really was quite upbeat about it and still am. Then when the next thing happened, I posted it in the same place because it seemed to follow. That's the problem with reading things, it can be difficult to hear the voice, see the smiling face. Hoping you are feeling ok.
Thank you Red! I am glad you found the section helpful! Also, in
the first section there is a portion on reflecting emotions. If you
are unable to present a positive perspective sometimes reflecting the
individuals emotions can help. They may not realize they are sounding
negative or they simply may want to express how they feel. Remember
expressing genuine feelings is healthy. A part of being human is
sometimes having "bad" feelings. It is important for us to be able to
experience and talk about these feelings. I know it sounds crazy but
sometimes it is important to feel sad and not just avoid the emotion.
Do you think it would help knowing that this person is venting because
they need to express themselves and it is healthy?
Yet, it can be very difficult when you can relate
personally. But your ability to feel so much is a good quality. It is
an asset and it has certainly made you an essential member of the
forums because you are able to really feel for others. When others
know you really care it really makes a difference. Never change that
about you. However, when you cannot distance yourself from these
feelings after you leave the thread that is when it becomes
problematic. Try to remember the section on Self Care, remember
"It is not your problem" I know that sounds harsh but keep telling
yourself that. How do you think you can ground yourself when on the
forum? How can you still feel empathy yet not become invested in how
the situation turns out?
Members, please share your suggestions to these questions.
Davit, Thanks I will try to hang tough and try not let the little things get to me.
Ashley,
I have been thinking about your questions. Yes I could relate to the post personally and it stirred up a lot of emotions and anxiety. I could of responded to the post in a positive way but found it impossible after all the negative feeling got all stirred up. The post was unexpected because of where it was posted. Its like opening up a door and being ambushed when it is posted under a thread where you don't expect a lot of venting or ranting and raving. I have really got to find a way to not feel so much. In answer to your last question I have read the members helping member section and found it very helpful. I think everyone should read this. It would help this group a lot and make it a better group.
I almost forgot our new additions to the program! Check out the members helping members section. There is a section on remaining positive that may help. The links are just above the forums. Let us know what you find out and found helpful!
Don't you dare leave the site. If your lack of nicotine is contributing to your anxiety treat it like exposure. But no running away. You got this far, stick with it. Red I'm a cripple I fight getting mad at little things almost every day. Winning the battle has made me a better person. Of course you could just ignore me but then I would be mad at you to. Stick it out.
First of all, it can be difficult to hear negativity and in a support setting negativity can be contagious. However, with the Health Educators and other members trying to be positive and point out other perspectives we can usually get back to the positive. Sometimes however an individual may want to feel negative about a situation even after hearing different perspectives. That is ok and that is their choice but it doesn't have to be your choice; remember you have a choice. Perhaps replying to the member in a positive way and brainstorming how you could see the situation more positive would be helpful not only to you but to other members!
However, I think before we can decide how to tackle this problem we need to discover what exactly upsets you about the negativity. I know you try very hard to be positive, do you think being positive and being around positive people is a values of yours? Or was the topic of the thread about something that you could relate to personally? Were you disappointed because you felt the individual could have been more positive and you were unsure of how to help them? Was it that it was unexpected? Really examine this and try to pin point what exactly you found upsetting about this. We can then go from there!
Thank you for bringing this to our attention. This is important to address and I know it took courage to speak up about it.
I started to read posts this morning and came across a venting post where I wasn't expecting it. Now that anger and negativity is making me feel angry and negative. I felt my adrenalin going up and now I am waiting for it to come down. I was wondering if anyone else has this problem? I am not sure how to deal with and control these feeling in a positive way. Any suggestions from members or educators are welcome ? If I can not get a handle on these emotions I may have to take a break from the site for a while. On a more positive note I got up first thing this morning and did my exercise bike while waiting for my coffee instead of smoking. Got my cup of coffee and checked into the web site feeling good. Starting reading posts couldn't deal with my feeling and lite up. I guess I will try again tomorrow.
