Hi All,
I'm back from my vacation....lots of Exposures! Wow!
We went for Tea at that Fancy hotel...if you're not rich and like to eat don't go! Ha. It was like that commercial where the couple leaves the fancy restaurant and goes for a burger....
The Butchart Gardens...worth every penny. Spectacular!
I had some rough patches with things though, kind of disappointed myself...in the hotel lobby I had to go sit....there were throngs of people, it was very hot, and I was hungry, all factors for inducing anxiety. My hubby gave me the "Do you need to excape " look, but I didn't. I used all my might and the coping skills to overcome.
Same thing at the gardens...so many people, we were on this staircase going to the Sunken garden, and the people traffic stoppped... Midway down. I quickly learnt that I'm not cured! At least I could see over all their heads..its was busloads of chinese tourists....so I looked at the trees and scenery and held hubby's hand. I found it very hard to concentrate on challenging my anxious thoughts. But I did manage not to go into panic, although I was more anxious all day after that than I like.
On a positive note, I did walk on the walkway that is over the water, for quite a distance, without any anxiety.
Then around 4 am last night I woke up in a strange panic/dream thing. My whole body feel funny..I can't describe it. Hubby tells me I was moaning for him, I vaguely remember when I woke up. When I was fully awake it was gone. So was it a dream? It was very unsettling. I did go back to sleep, but now I am fearing that I am back-sliding..or rebounding....my mind is at battle with itself...why does an episode that maybe lasts 5 minutes have such long-lasting effects? Any thoughts on this? I know I have read about this here before..Does it all go back to fear of fear? See, I'm thinking on it too hard...so I will stop it! I have lots more to read here...
Cleo
