Hi Red: I am sorry that you are having a rough time lately. I haven't had those intrusive thoughts for awhile now, but I used to get them especially at night just before sleeping. I have some past traumas too. Just a suggestion: I loudly yell STOP in my mind when the thoughts come and remind myself that these things are in the past, they're gone, I am safe now. I think about how old I was at the time and how old I am now (and everything I have experienced/survived) and how I can take care of myself now. You may have to loudly say it a few times, each time, but with practice it might work for you. Hope it passes soon for you.
Thanks for the response to my post. I am taking a ace inhibitor for my blood pressure. I will try to remember the pleasant memories. One memories I have is one lady who had lost the ability to seek and would use her own form of sign to talk to me. She would put her hand on her heart and reach out and touch me my heart with her hand and this meant I love you. Their was a man who had dementia and was very anxious and upset and angry. I gave him a magazine to look at with pictures of animals in it. It had picture of a panda on the front he smiled and light up like a christmas tree and I stroked his hair and he was happy and contend. The panic and anxiety was gone for the time being and he was ok. This technique seemed to work many times and with other people. My late husband included. I have found that you can replace the scary thoughts with pretty pictures and stimulus like nice peaceful music. Something that puts the mind in a better place. I also think a kind and gentle touch is very important. This thing with pictures, is how I got interested to taking photographs. I feel that if I can provide my mind with pleasant and positive stimulus that I can put myself in more relaxed and better place. This is just a theory of course. For the time being I am going to cut out all tv programs that are negative. I don't watch much tv anyway because of the negative effect he has on me so it should be easy to cut out tv all together. I am also going to quit listening to talk radio at night while I am sleeping I think it might be contributing to my problems. I really think the unpleasant stimulus may be at the root of the problem. Any way I am going to give this a try and see what happens. I have been looking at some county magazines this morning and am feeling a lot better. I find the pictures to be very relaxing. This is one way of replacing the negative with postive as it relate to my anxiety/panic ptsd. I will let you know if it works.
If you are taking a betablocker for blood pressure I want you to know that one of the side effects is vivid dreams, but never night mares. Here is something to try, since you know it is not the recollections you are having but the way you see them that is the problem. Don't suppress them, replay them but do it with a positive spin. Try to remember all the pleasant and funny things that happened I'm sure there were a lot. I have spent a lot of time in the hospital and one wing was long term care and I got to talk to the patients and become friends even though some had dementia so bad they couldn't remember who I was. One lady used to come to my room and show me pictures from her photo album. One day she came in and said "I can't get my suspenders right" I told here she needed to tuck in her T shirt first. She said you do it. So I did because the nurses were too busy to call. She looked up at me with a toothless grin and said, "you know you have your hands in my pants" well I just cracked up it was so funny. One day she will die and I will miss her but I will remember how funny she was. Remember the good things in your past, and they will bury the bad, And if you get time tell us some funny times or some good times. I for one would love to hear them.
I am sorry to hear that the last few nights have been hard for you. It sure does sound exhausting to experience those dreams over and over again. Be sure to revisit the program sessions, they will help you build a plan for working on this and hopefully help you understand the underlying causes. Furthermore, make sure to include self-care in your daily routine. It will be important to take time to focus on relaxation techniques especially before bed.
Members, how does CBT learned from the program help you sleep better?
I was going to start a tread on this when I came across this thread. I too suffer with morning anxiety. It starts while I am sleeping and wakes me up several times a night. I have a lot of panic or anxiety type dreams most nights. I thought it was getting better but the last few nights have been hard. It is really starting to wear me down. When I wake up with this several times a night like last night I feel exhausted in the morning. They anxiety is there when I awake and then the doom and gloom feeling and depression. So I am sitting here writing about it this morning and waiting for the feeling to leave. It is kind of a distraction. I am hoping writing about it helps get rid of it. Makes it less powerful, kind of a purging per say.
Davit I found what you said about calcium interesting and have just started taking calcium and they put me on vitamin D because me D levels were on the extreme low side. I am also waiting for my Valium in the mail to help me sleep. I am hoping it will do the trick. Oh course sleep is only good if you can do it without anxiety and panic type dreams. I think my ptsd plays a part in this anxiety. I am always on duty 24/7 in my mind. I was a Certified Nurses aid/Home health aid and also a caregiver to my late husband and family when they were sick. It was very stressful and traumatic caring for my family and when I am on sleeping I am still on duty trying to care for them all and save them all. I wonder when this will quit haunting me and I can finally rest and be off duty when I sleep. To everyone who reads this I am sorry if it upsets you. I felt I had to get it out and maybe it would go away. I am feeling a little better now and the anxiety has lessened. I wish I could erase all these memories from my mind. I have been trying to replace them with happy memories and with the pretty pictures that I take with my camera. I am trying to deal with this and am looking for a way out of this. I have been on vacation traveling and camping thinking it will help and I still sometimes wake up and I am on duty. I only thing that seems to help is taking pictures out in nature. I don't know I am just rambling now. Sorry everyone!!!! Yes I have my problems too. As a retired health worker it is hard for me to talk about my problems I think because You never discuss your problems with the patient. It is not good for their health and do not help them heal. Its not about you it is about them and caring for helping them and their families as they go through the grieving process... You always need to leave your feeling a the door when you walk in.....The problem is these feeling come back and haunt you later in the form of ptsd. I am trying to learn how to deal with this feelings so that I can have some peace in my life and be off duty. Not be running to save someone in my dreams. I am very tired.
Let me start out by saying it's not hopeless as I too have been there. I used to have 5 - 6 pa's a day and wake up at night with pa's. I was frightened from everything and anything, the clouds going in front of the sun, my basement, taking a shower, thunderstorms.
My panic disorder was severe, but I mastered the disorder using CBT. There are a lot of caring people on this site who will help you through as they did me. In times of utter despair they comforted me because they have been through it.
You can overcome this, it takes hard work but it all pays off in the end.
Hang in there Faeriequeene - it WILL get better! Do things that relax you and that you enjoy today, like playing with your cat. Give yourself a break. Make a goal to start working through the program on this site, as that in itself is a huge step. Take care and we're here if you need us!
