Hi everyone, I had about a week of somewhat relief but today everything has come crashing back! I just want to run to ER but my husband would be furious at me. It started early this morning around dawn, I actually fell asleep quickly for a change because I have been so tired out, I woke up out of a sound sleep and could not breathe! I felt my airway blocked I was so terrified, I got up and drank some milk and tried to lay back down, I was dreaming so heavily all night and woke up exhausted with a horrible stomachache and headache, I hate to have all these symptoms at once, normally I just have one or two, my left arm is hurting and my chest and I think its my heart, I dont understand why that after having over a week of OK that I should crash like this? I dont know whats physcial or emotional? I have been reading a lot so my eyes are hurting and tired and blurred which is scaring me too, the stomachache came out of nowhere, its too soon for my monthly, all these symptoms are panicking me, I feel wired and tired at the same time, it took so much NOT to have an attack today, my heart is skipping beats and I feel so anxious but totally exhausted at the same time, I hope this goes away, its pushing me back.
I made a mistake last night looking in my medical book about things, I know that was really BAD and I regret it, I was looking up CFS and thyroid problems and fibromylagia, just trying to figure out WHY I feel so bad tired and exhausted, I wish I had not done that, and I wont do it again. I wanted to ask the other members a question; when you were going through panic and depression did you dream and dream all night? and wake up exhausted? its not nightmares just weird crazy dreams all night, I use to not dream so much or just before I woke up, now its all night, I read when this happens its "the brain trying to heal" but shouldnt the brain like shut down and relax and have peace when sleeping, the breathing is bad enough but the constant crazy dreams are driving me crazy, I just want to wake up and feel rested and refreshed, the body symptoms are very bad today, and I am coughing a lot, I am down to 3 or 4 cigarettes a day from half a pack, the therapist said do not go cold turkey because it will cause more anxiety and withdrawal, I am trying to eat good, walk a little and think positive, I was so hoping I was "turning the corner" I guess this explains why my husband never mentioned I was getting better he was so afraid I would regress he did not want to jinx it and I guess he was right, and believe me I was so hoping he would be wrong.
I am sorry I sound like a basket case, everything hurts, my stomach, my head, my eyes and this tired wired feeling is awful! Is this just a setback? like two steps forward one step backward? I was so hoping and praying that I was recovering, and nothing terrible has happened in my life to cause this just the body symptoms, Thanks for listening, sometimes I feel so alone and that I will never get better and I dont want to think negative, I am hoping this is just temporary, if anyone can share I would appreciate it. Thank you, I must sound like a mad woman, I am sorry, I just want this to END!
