Thats true about the self esteem bit. I'm hoping I would feel better about myself if I accomplished that goal, and hoping maybe my mood would improve as well. Right now are family house is quite fool because my brother and his wife moved in as well and my brother is probably going through cancer treatment (not sure of biopsy results yet). So they are quite stressed, and the deal was, was that I would move out and let them have the basement suite. I can move upstairs temporarily, however for everyone's sanity, it may be best for me to go.
I feel bad for having a pity party, I just feel sad and down that I have to deal with anxiety and depression, and may have to for the rest of my life. it sucks. I know others have it bad as well, but it feels like 150% daily effort not to get down.
Whoa there!!!!! Whose principles are you trying to live by. First off self esteem is about you, not a thing. What is wrong with living with your parents? Something you really don't want to do or something you think you don't want to do? I left home at fifteen. There was no home life or I might have stayed. Yes we are told to get out and make a life for ourselves. But is it necessary. People used to move out and move into boarding houses. Not much different from staying at home. In fact some times it was more homey.
So if you think moving out is going to give you self esteem rather than because you want to you could be wrong. You should be doing this because you want to, not because you should.
I for one would support you either way but think too that you should go for it. You might like it.
By the way, moving back in is not failure, it just means you were not ready and need to try again. Maybe like exposure, you need to do this one day at a time. Some time in your apartment, some time at home.
Hi Just ducky: How do you know if this is the right apt. or not, or if the move is the right thing to do or not? You don't. Nothing is 100% certain. What you could be certain about is your desire to move out and be on your own in your own apt. That's a good positive move forward. Think about the success of this step. The rest of the stuff you are worrying about doesn't matter at all. Apt. not suitable? Guess what, you can move next yr. when your lease is up and this time you'll have some experience about apts. and may know better what is suitable for you. See? Always a positive. Where's the faith, the belief in yourself? Sure you have concerns but you can do it. Don't let the anxiety win. Remember that this is your choice and you can do it in a happy frame of mind, or an unhappy worried frame of mind.
How do I know? Because I am experiencing a move myself. I'm in the middle of cleaning and sorting and giving away and finding a realtor for my house. Not easy and it is stressful but I believe I am doing the right thing, even if it is scary sometimes. Upward and onwards I say! Go for it, you'll never know unless you try.
Its crazy how quickly anxiety comes in on me and then brings me down to a really negative state. I was okay on the weekend and monday. It really came on yesterday when I was thinking of viewing apartments to move into. How do I figure out if this is the right thing for me to do or not. I'm 32 and should be able to live on my own. I know I shouldn't "should" myself, but wouldn't it increase my self-esteem. I just don't want to move out and have this anxiety be really high, and then fail and have to move back in with my parents.
Thoughts!
p.s. I find when I'm in this anxious mode, I go searching for things, thoughts to make me feel better, but nothing seems to.
Be sure to keep working through the program during your move. The section on role transitions would be an excellent session to refer to in this case. Spend some time thinking about whether or not there is anything you can
do to cope better with your role transitions. Are there any changes you
can make in your thinking or behaving? What specific changes could you
work on?
I forgot to add the connection to my "spacing out". With the social circle( MENSA) I connected with, many are doing a lot of other stuff in their head, so it's accepted to drop out of conversations.
Sorry, I had a brain freeze(again)...but you accept that - don't you?
If you blend in with a social circle similar to you, I find I feel "normal". eg. I was often told, because of my short attention span, to pay attention(eg. "earth to hugs" is an example of the conversation. I wonder if your social circle has similar feelings, but aren't speaking about it?
I'm noticing some increase in anxiety symptoms today, to the point that I feel quite spacey this afternoon. The only thing I can attribute this to is that I'm planning on moving out from home for next month. Anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with the spaciness that occurs. Logically, moving out is a good step for me, as I've been in my parents ground floor suite for the past 2 yearsm, and I'm moving out with a friend that's moving here. I guess I wonder how I'll cope with my moods.
