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Accomplishments and other Postive Things

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1665

Davit: Glad you had a nice grandmother to show you love and affection. I understand that older woman who has difficulty "saying" what bothers her. I still have lots of stuff inside, if it comes out I feel uncomfortable because it sounds like I'm whining and weak, and I am not. It bothered me to even write that last post about my mother not being there for support and I wondered if I should have written that. When my parents fought about me, I would hear my Dad say, "you never wanted that child".

Anerol: Yes, I have siblings. an older sister who lives on another continent and an older brother, the eldest, who lives in Arizona 6 months of the year and comes back to Canada for 6 months travelling around. I had another sister who died of cancer and two brothers (my playmates, closer to my age) who drowned in a tragic boating accident.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

Red

I was about to start to worry. I wasn't sure if you were doing Ok or letting the newbies talk or if you had got a mini setback. I am glad to see my very good friend is Ok. You did know that exposure would have these sort of results. It is why people have so much trouble with it and why some refuse to do it. Laughing and crying are just two sides of the same coin. If you can do one you can do the other. Both are cleansing and good for you. Have you been able to really accept that you are going to get back to normal or is there still that lingering doubt. I mention this just so I can say again that you are doing great and you are going to be great. So if the doubt is still there then tell it to get lost. The lingering doubt was tough for me because of how long I had been suffering. But it is gone. Gone gone gone. I know in my heart and mind that I can be and live normal. Now is the time you have to watch for anxiety and fatigue and don't get them confused. You are going out more you may feel a little down when you are tired. This is normal and is definitely Ok . It is not a set back. Now is where you can really help others by posts like this one. You have a whole series of progression, something I don't have to share. At least I don't think I do. Right now I feel like I have always been normal even though I know I was not.

I also know that you could leave now and finish on your own but I am hoping you will stay. We need you. So be happy but please stay with us also.

Your friend for ever.

Davit.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 420

I would like to change the subject and post a few positive things that have happened lately. Here it goes...

I was able to make it to my class again today and I am feeling good about it.

I am starting to get more comfortable being around and talking to people in the outside world.

I have been able to deal with a lot of anxiety and some depression this past week and I am feeling more confident in my ability to cope.

I have learned a lot this week. It has been very hard at times. Its has been tiring. I have laughed and I have cried. One thing I can say is that this exposure really been worth it and I am much so better for it. I am really learning how to live and love life again. I am happy!!!

Red

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

I can't remember either of my parents giving me a hug. I was washed, fed and cared for but I don't know if I was ever wanted. Now me and my Grandmother, that was a different storey. I was Grandmas boy. I was talking to a lady today who never realized how much her childhood affected the way she was handling her panic till it was brought out in the open. I gave her my usual spiel about not worrying to much about what causes the panic till she manages relaxation and coping skills. She is just another person scared to open up, even to open up here. She is doing Ok by herself but she knows the door is always open if she needs help. We shall see.

Davit.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 517

Hi Sunny,

I didn't get too much hugs either, but I always thought that was normal when I was younger. My sister and mother always had fights so I tried my best to be the 'good' kid and I was. In that sense, I was 'forgotten' because my parents never had to scold me. My parents always joke about how differently they've raised us, especially the way we ate, they stuffed food into my sister's mouth vs. for me they put the food before me on the table and left it at that. Do you have siblings too?

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1665

Anerol and Davit: There seems to be a common thread here. The aloneness of the person, the watching and observing and the preference for a quiet life. Not to say that we don't enjoy a good time every now and then. When I asked my older brother a couple of summers ago about our family life (because I couldn't remember birthdays, but know we had them) he said he saw me as the "forgotten one". I was rarely asked anything nor was I ever fussed over. He told me that I would sit quietly and watch and observe the goings on. I could not rely on my mother if I had a problem. On several occasions I remember telling her about "bad" things which had happened to me or frightened me, but she never did anything about it, not even a hug. I usually had to solve it on my own as best I could. So I never bothered to speak up, it didn't get me anywhere. I swore I wouldn't do that to my children, and I didn't. I gave lots of hugs and listened to their problems.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 517

Hi Davit,

I guess you write a lot of great stories in each forum. You should write a book. I'm observant too, sometimes doing this wasn't a great thing for me(saw too much), but I'm not as great as you at explanations of observations... but I'll get there. I was always to myself too... didn't get to being a recluse until now, but I never talk. My mom said she worried if I ever will, because my first words were so late. But this changed when I got married.. I led a different life, always out with people and parties, but I guess it just didn't fit for me either, and I now know I prefer the slow life too. I felt like I was more of a relaxed person before... I notice how many people who tend have anxiety disorders had anxiety since childhood, but this wasn't really much of the case for me, I was always frightened at speaking and other things but I was able to steer and control around it. But I don't know, maybe I just hid this all well from myself. Maybe I was ok with the me before I lived the fast life, and once I tried that, I started to compare... I don't know, something like that. Haha..

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 6252

anerol

You wouldn't know it to see me but I have had a very messed up life. There were periods of pleasure but they were not what most people would have considered it. In my blog is access to my website if I have not lost it. By the time I was 15 I was a nervous wreck and on my way to being a permanent recluse. I didn't fit in. I was always too observant, watching out for my brother who beat on me. Like a feral cat, always on edge. The only place I could rest was in the sticks. I lived in these little tiny cabins with my dog team and a lab for company. I spent a lot of time cleaning. I liked things clean and in there place. Besides I had a lot of time on my hands. I made a little money trapping but my heart just wasn't in it. Mostly I raided my dads house for food and cloths till I got a job. My first job was taking my brothers place temporary so he could have two weeks off. Being efficient and meticulous got me hired permanent. Living in the sticks can be dangerous so I became very observant.

Now I live a much different life but that tendency to observe people and things is still there. I also have this habit of questioning things. "why" tends to run in my head a lot. Like why should I be anxious and others not? Well by being observant I discovered that a lot of people are, they just have learned to cope better than me. I also discovered that some of them cope by passing it on. By taking it out on others. By anger, by being cruel. I now fit quite well in society but it has been a hard uphill climb and I still tend to get most of my pleasure from a one on one with nature. Seems I do better with the slow life. The odd thing is I like to go to loud dances and listen to the music.(can't dance any more). The crowds don't bother me at all. But for the most part I am content with my acreage and this computer. I love my Garden and I love to build things. I also enjoy the look on peoples faces when I give these things away. I could be extremely happy If I wasn't quite so crippled. Like the rest of you I too have had to learn how to cope and accept, but in my case it is that what you see is what you get. Life is not always nice but even when I have pain I can still get pleasure out of a good cup of tea or watching birds in the Garden or ducks in the pond. Looking for the little pleasures can do a lot to reduce the daily stress. We are all different and I have noticed that the happiest people are the ones that are happy in there mind and body and have learned to make the best of every situation. This is my aim and should be every ones.

Be yourself and be happy. Be different, I love people that are different it adds spice to life.

Davit, just being himself.

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 1665

You guys are putting a smile on my face - what a bunch! have a great day today everybody!

for 14 år siden 0 +0 / -0 517

Hi Red, I'm glad to read your success! It's very amazing and inspiring to me how you were able to tackle all of that even though you were preparing for the lions. I enjoyed reading this thread very much. I often had trouble believing that the rest of the world may be having anxiety as I did because they were still out and about, but I do remember how my ex had such a bad temper especially when he'd have to go into a crowd of many people to do shopping too, when he's still the "normal" person. I just know now how a lot of people are pretty stressed, but use many other ways to deal with it, like gambling, drinking, shopping, being abusive to others, etc. Davit, you are a genius at explaining, have you written any stories?

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Accomplishments and other Postive Things